How to Pretend You’re a Soccer Enthusiast

In honor of the upcoming world cup final.

Step 1: Call it football.
Soccer isn’t very popular in America, because we like to watch the other kind of football in which players don’t actually use their feet. But true soccer fans call it football, or better yet, footie. Go ahead, get your best British accent out.

Step 2: Pretend to know more than the actual players.
When a player makes a mistake, cry, “What was he thinking?! The bloody idiot!” and proceed to point out the various things he did wrong. Careful with this one, as it might reveal that you know next to nothing about the sport. Let other (more knowledgeable) fans shout out their own critiques, all the while fervently agreeing with them.

Step 3: Buy a soccer jersey and wear it everywhere.
Enough said.
It is advisable that you find out where the country whose team you supposedly support is located, by the way.

Step 4: Find a (preferrably underdog) player to support.
“Man, that Fernandez from Argentina sure is underrated. Did you see his smashing header goal in the match against Ivory Coast? He is one hell of a footie player. Blimey!”

Step 5: Actually learn about the game.
…Naah.

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3 thoughts on “How to Pretend You’re a Soccer Enthusiast

    • I looked, and it was actually really interesting to see the evolution! Personally, I prefer the little shorty shorts. They seem easier to play in anyway haha. Thanks for stopping by!

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