Bella Swan: The Most Hateable Character in All of Literature

Oh Edward. So brooding.

So, just about everyone with an ounce of sense has said this already, but what is the deal with Twilight?

I read the books two years ago and must admit that I initially liked them. Most girls do, because everyone is wooed by the thought of having a soulmate, someone who would do anything for them. But when you think about it, Edward takes the “I would do anything for you” philosophy to the most obnoxious level; no girl who loves you wants you to save her. No girl who loves you wants to be away from you. And she obviously doesn’t want you to die. So don’t be a stupid prat and think you’re being a hero. Because all you’ll be is a stupid prat.
Stephenie Meyer must have weird taste in boys. Who goes for the cold, hard, pale boy instead of the warm, soft, tanned one? Especially when being with the cold one means you have to change yourself and possibly never see your family again?
But of course, none of this would be relevant in the real world. Not because there aren’t such things as vampires and werewolves, but because no boy in their right mind would actually love the Bella Swan that Meyer describes. Bella has got to be the most depressing, unloveable, stupid twit of a main character…and the reader is supposed to like her. Yeah, NO.

The movie Eclipse was better than Twilight (I didn’t bother seeing New Moon), but Kristen Stewart’s acting still made me want to vomit and Robert Pattinson still looks like he’s fighting back a seizure at every turn. And does Bella own anything besides plaid flannels?

Oh yeah, and Taylor Lautner, are you aware how many 12 year olds pretend their pillow is you when they kiss it at night?

Click here for a laugh at the expense of Twilight…

9 thoughts on “Bella Swan: The Most Hateable Character in All of Literature

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  1. I couldn’t even get through the novel “Twilight” (I’m aware there are subsequent books, but would no more read them than I’d deliberately smash my thumb with a hammer). I could not get into it, and there was pretty much bugger-all else to read.

    1. In all honesty, I ended up skipping about 100 pages in the middle of the 1st one. I knew Edward was a vampire, so why drag it out???

  2. I found the books quite dull really, mediocre fiction and Bella very much a non heroine; nothing much to recommend her till ‘Edward’ makes her feel special and then all hell ….

    I found however, that the movies are slightly more engaging than the books.


  3. I HATE Twilight so much and I would like to resurrect Peter Cushing as Van Helsing from the Hammer Horror films so he can stake Edward’s wimpy sparkly vampire arse and we can be rid of the most pathetic vampire in vampire fiction. I should write a short story where my cool sexy boy kicks his sorry arse but my boy has got better things to do ;-)

  4. Bad news..

    ‘KRISTEN Stewart and the Twilight Saga were the big winners at last night’s People’s Choice Awards.

    The 20-year-old actress beat the likes of Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie to win Favorite Movie Actress, while Twilight Saga: Eclipse, the latest installment in the vampire film franchise — in which Kristen plays Bella Swan — picked up three awards, including Favorite Movie.’

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