How to Take Over the World

Step 1: Develop a really good maniacal laugh.
After every slightly ominous thing you say, laugh for at least 10 seconds. I’m not talkin’ a merry chuckle, here. I’m talkin’ creepy, deep, terrifying laughter.

Step 2: Be British.
It’s so much easier to sound official if you’re British. Provided you don’t have an unfortunate lisp or a cockney accent. Or sound like a pre-pubescent British male. So sad.

Step 3: Look awesome in a suit/business skirt thingamadendum.
Cuz if you can’t work the power-wear, you just can’t rule the planet.

Step 4: Be really frightening.
Who lets nice people dominate them?

Step 5: Have henchmen.
You have to have at least one creepy, hunchbacked man standing behind you cracking his knuckles each time you say something frightening. If you have more than one, make sure one is a woman. They tend to have great cackles. Besides, when you take over, you’re forcing gender equality, right?

Step 6: Have  a bionacle arm.
It just adds to the overall effect. And it’d be bloody cool. Your arm would be invincible. If you’re feeling good about the arm, you could upgrade to a bionacle body…

3 thoughts on “How to Take Over the World

Add yours

  1. I have only steps 5 and 6 to go! Woohoo! Soon everyone will be bowing before my terrifying might.


    Now, how should I go about getting me some hench(wo)men and a bionic arm?

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