Hey Hey, It’s My Hormones!

Owie.

So. I am a girl. I am a girl with working body parts and organs and whatnot, so I inevitably get the painters in during “that time of the month.” This is where all male readers will freak out and exit the page, am I right? It’s actually not that big of a deal – I have no problem discussing it, and without it no one would be born. And without baby humans, what would the world be? A lot less loud, probably, and eventually, once humans no longer existed, global warming would reverse itself and on and on and on. But enough of that.

I think someone is shoving a knife into my uterus. This is REALLY where the male readers exit the page. Sorry…but really. It hurts. No amount of midol/advil/ibuprofen/whatever will make it stop. I am practically curled into a ball as I write this and every once in a while I writhe in pain. Yes. I writhe. I have succumbed to the power of the period.

I am hormonal. I am the queen of the hormones. I am so emotional that if anyone speaks to me tonight I will probably erupt into tears. I am so hormonal that I am writing a post about my period on my public blog that people read, so apparently, I am so hormonal that my judgement is impared. Are hormones like vodka? Should I not drive?

My back hurts. My front hurts. My head hurts. I feel sensitive. Help.

I don’t even want children! What is the point of this? Is 17 too early for menopause?

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11 thoughts on “Hey Hey, It’s My Hormones!

  1. LOL, the I.T. Crowd with Aunt Irma… haha.. love that one.

    But it’s nice to see you are open to discussion about your period because many women are not… in fact, some women are even afraid to have dialogue with fellow women who are more than likely to have periods of their own! I can’t say I’ve ever or will ever be able to feel your pain, but I can at least understand the pain that comes with menstruation.

    It’s great to see that you too, understand the idea that we would not be alive without the existence of the menstrual cycle – in fact, that’s one of my important taglines of my blog, so we share that common viewpoint :D It is indeed true that without the beauty of menstruation that our fingers would not be clicking away at these keyboards to begin with. Although understandably pain, discomfort and inconvenience comes with some women’s periods, it is indeed a beautiful bodily process that should be appreciated by men and women.

    I think most women dread having their period, although I must say it’s almost as scary when it’s missed than when one actually has it, especially for those who are in sexual relationships where they have to worry about unplanned pregnancies. Additionally, skipping periods once a woman is regular is also potential telltale signs of faltering health.

    It is complete ok to write about your hormones and period on your blog, it is YOURS after all and I think many men and women should learn to speak openly about these things since we live in such an advanced era where I think both genders should be knowledgeable about such an important life topic!

    • Thanks so much for the comment and for reading!
      I love the IT Crowd and LOVE that episode. Best part – Roy saying “I feel delicate.”
      Periods are lovely when they don’t hurt, is all I have to say. Ha. Childbirth is beautiful but painful too…I guess that’s how a lot of stuff is in life.
      Yeah, it’s crazy to think that when you miss periods for long amounts of time (as I did for a while) you can actually develop cancer of the uterus and all this other stuff. So it’s good I’ve got it happening, it just sucks that it’s happening in such an obtrusive way. :)
      By the way, love the concept of your blog!!! Careful, women will be falling in love with you all over the place. We apparently like open men.

  2. It’s funny you should mention driving. My driving is always erratic and scatterbrained when I’m on my period. Usually I’m a great driver, but during that time it is best if I just stay off the road. Maybe it’s the hormones impairing my ability to make snap judgments, or I feel vulnerable so I’m not confident enough to drive well; I don’t know.

    By the way, I love the image you chose for this post. It’s not familiar to me, but it pretty much says it all.

    I once bought my Mum a “Happy Period!” card. :P Luckily for me, she has a great sense of humor.

    • I don’t even want to think about what will happen when I drive while on my period…I’d probably have a massive cramp, seize up, and crash into a tree.
      The image is from a great British TV show called the IT Crowd (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_IT_Crowd). It’s amazing. In that particular episode, the woman character is on her period and becomes this crazy monster (figuratively) if people bother her.

  3. Oh god, poor you. Try having THAT kind of pain for years and years and years…bleh

    P.S So cool that you like the IT Crowd. Brilliant show :-)

  4. Thought you ladies might like this for a laugh:

    Periods and childbirth are insanely different for women across the board. I’ve had “I love my period” to “I hate my period as much as possible” and with pregnancy, I was told by my mom that my pregnancy was with so much ease she didn’t mind it and couldn’t understand why women were screaming while in labour – apparently I was a very easy child to pop out, haha.

    A few of my girls love their period too, probably because I pamper them when it comes, but other than some fatigue and general snottiness they experience, it’s not the pain-wracking experience that women suffer. After all, many athletics and business-women alike continue on with their day. I don’t think it’s not that they aren’t affected, but they aren’t crippled by it. Suffice to say, a massage, heat pad and chocolate will douse out most of those flames anyways :P

    As much as I’m not a fan of tampons, it does prove advantageous for those involved in water sports and other activities involving tight clothing that may be too awkward to wear a pad. Menopause is depressing, don’t wish your way too it :D

    I’m not sure there are that many women falling in love with me, haha, sometimes my openness leads to TMI – I guess depends on who the girl is and how much “openness” she can tolerate.. but I also hate being closed-minded or ignorant of life-matters. Men should take the time to accept women for all their beauty, not just certain portions of it when we see fit. For 23 days in a month, (straight) men love vagina, but where is the other 7 days? Because we’re hiding like a scared cat because our girlfriend/wife is bleeding between her legs. I don’t understand the concept on how we can be so selective about female anatomical beauty!

  5. I hear you! It’s so crazy when I get close to that time of the month- I end up hating everyone. And I mean everyone. No one escapes my wrath.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  6. Okay so not to share entirely too much information, however, was August 12 the day God said “if you have period, you die!” because I had the EXACT same thing happen to me that day. However, I DID have to drive…. three hours. Without a chance to stop because if I had I was convinced I would succumb to the pain with one step out of my car heading to get pain killers and in agony in a parking lot until some poor soul came over to help and sadly had to face my wrath. I literally felt as if I was attempting to birth a devil-child-spawn out of my uterus. And when I finally did arrive home, bed was all that could form in my mind.

    Anyway, it was just interesting to read you describing the exact same thing from the same time.

    btw, your blog is pretty hilarious. :)

    • Thanks so much! I’m glad you could relate…we period-sufferers have to stick together during those tough times.
      I went completely psycho the day after I wrote this and alternated between crying every 5 minutes and shouting at anyone who was nice to me…

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