Things That Creep Me Out, or Why You Should Run for Your Lives

1. Katy Perry:
California gurls sure are unforgettable…who knew that California was actually candy land? And that the girls there wear cupcake bras…doesn’t that get messy? Like, if you bend over and your cupcake falls off? That could also be really embarassing.
 Her song, “I Kissed A Girl” probably wouldn’t weird me out if she didn’t sing it in such a weird voice. It’s like she’s gonna go murder the girl after she kisses her. That’s practically enough evidence to convict her of being a serial killer, right?
And she wears really scary wigs. I can dig changing your hair color and whatnot, but she takes it to a whole new level with these wigs. Wigs scare me. Katy Perry scares me…because she wears wigs that scare me.

2. People who try to convert me to their religion:
It just strikes me as really odd that they feel they need to save me or something. I don’t need to be saved. I don’t want to be saved. I don’t know what I believe, and if I’m still trying to decide, maybe you shouldn’t alienate me. I don’t want to be Mormon. It’s awesome that you’re sure what you believe and that it helps you be a good person and find direction in your life, but…I don’t want to be Mormon. Or really anything else, for that matter.

3. Wasps:
When they fly, their long legs just dangle below them like…dangly things. It’s so creepy how they flop about. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!

4. Cartoon animals that talk in foreign accents:
The Nasonex wasp (see above) is really weird. Why is he foreign? There is no specific reason, actually. And if you’re going to make him Spanish (I at first thought he was French until someone commented on this post saying he wasn’t…yeah, I’m editing my post), Nasonex marketing people, at least make his voice attractive. This guy is obnoxious (according to my “source,” its Antonio Banderas…oops).
Also, Pepe le Pew (or however you’re supposed to spell it, that doesn’t seem very French) is such a creeper. French people cannot possibly be that creepy.
Also, if these animals are truly French/Spanish, why do they speak English?

5. Myspace/Facebook pictures:
Not all of them…just the ones that are of girls making that obnoxious kissy face. WHY do they do that? No one should ever make that face in real life. Or pretend life, for that matter (what is pretend life?).
Girls in those photos, I have a message for you: it makes you look stupid. Boys who are attracted to that are stupid. And probably ugly. So. Relax your facial muscles and leave the bathroom. The real world awaits.