This Is My Life

My happiness is like the combined happiness of these people.

Two recent searches that brought people to my blog caught my attention today. Someone typed in “Bella Swan stupid,” thereby restoring my faith in humanity. Someone else (who I really really love but who might have a pretty intense form of ADD) wrote “I love you are my best friend big dinosa.” That’s it. They didn’t even finish the word…and the sentence barely makes sense. I’m glad such incoherent babble directs people to this blog.
Whoa. Idea. Maybe the person who typed that in had writer’s block and couldn’t figure out what else to write in their search! This blog is aptly named, if that’s the case. Everyone here has writer’s block. Except me, ironically, because I post sometimes 3 times a day. Oh that is so sad… 

Basically, I love the universe because HELLO, people are actually reading what I write and I can guarantee I don’t know at least 2,000 of them. Which is actually probably pretty weird since Mommy told me not to talk to strangers. 

I think I might mention this drugged-up chick too much.

People told me not to write posts about “pop culture ‘things.'” I told them to shove off. If those people had actually read my posts, they’d know that the majority of them are actually me blithering on about how to do things totally inappropriately/crazily/stupidly. So there. Honestly, I bet some people would rather I wrote a million posts about Ke$ha, but too bad, cuz I’m not gonna do that either. I am a free spirit.

On a side note, my sister just attempted to imitate Eminem, going “hrrnehnur HEH nrr nrr nenny nenny hehnunna.” I might have just peed a little. I wish I could add a little voice clip to this post, but I really don’t think I should bother. It might startle people with heart conditions. 

I wish there was a feature on the blog stats monitor that beeped every time you had a hit on your blog. These past few days, I could’ve been sitting in my room listening to my computer beep like mad. Then when I go back to having 64 readers a day, I could just imagine the beeps I once had and cry, alone, clutching my stuffed bear and rocking back and forth. 

What if, with that blog stats beeper, when you didn’t have any hits it would just make a noise like you were flatlining. You’d know, then, that you should just delete your blog forever and find a new hobby, like knitting or saving orphaned ladybugs. 

I love all of you. I love all of you so much, because I wrote a post about Barney that thousands of people read. The funny thing is, I was so close to throwing that post in the trash because I didn’t think anyone would like it. So I wrote it, almost trashed it, posted it instead, got Freshly Pressed, and created a long dialogue between at least 70 adults about how much they love/hate/don’t care about Barney. I’m so glad this happened. My life is complete. Ish.

22 thoughts on “This Is My Life

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  1. That picture of the happy asian family pretending to be in the sound of music makes my life complete, also your blog does as well :)

  2. And after I read the great post on Barney, I subscribed to your blog because I found it that awesome. You really have an inspiring sense of humour.

    Oh, and I do like the idea of saving orphaned lady bugs (aren’t they all orphans?).

    1. Oh thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoy it and I’m VERY glad you decided to subscribe!
      Well, according to the song lady bug lady bug fly away home, all lady bugs’ houses are on fire…so I don’t really know. Perhaps they’re all firemen in training.

  3. I still claim to have the weirdest search to bring someone to my blog. Someone typed “I walked in on my grandpa masturbating,” and ended up on my page.

    I’m a little worried, because I think that may say more about me than it does the reader who came to my site.

      1. What?! I’m pretty sure my blog isn’t about THAT. haha.

        Maybe if you took out the word “masturbating” and put “wearing latex pants and giving the Filipino pool boy a back rub” in its place.

          1. Not really. I just rotate between latex clothing, mesh garments, and studded leather apparel.

            But you make it sound like that’s a bad thing.

          2. On the contrary, I am just excited that I can relate so much to someone…because I, like Lady Gaga, wear dresses made entirely from latex.

    1. I love that people found my weird Barney blog and still managed to like my other stuff and subscribe. Thanks so much!

  4. I had a very similar story. I was about to delete a post on Friday the 13th meets Cupcake wars and, all of a sudden, it was feature on Freshly Pressed. It is very exciting to get that 15 minutes! Thanks for the enjoyable read.

  5. So glad things are going well cappy. You are a good writer and I do enjoy keeping up with your ideas. You definitely get a chuckle out of me on a regular basis. Keep it up!

    1. Thank you so much for following. I’m pretty sure I had the same reaction to being Freshly Pressed as I had when you posted a link to my “How to Take Over the World” post. I’ll just say it involved a lot of squealing and jumping around and then turned into yelling for like 5 minutes. :)

  6. Haha, I’m probably being repetitive now (considering all of the previous comments), but I really like you blog and writing style in general. I find all of your posts very funny. And yes, I found you through Barney and I’ve subscribed, so I hope you keep writing everyday.

    Also, I just started my blog less than a week ago (I only have like 5 posts. I’m writing 1 post a day), but if you want you can check it out at:

    Thanks, and keep on writing!

    1. Thank you so much for reading! I’m so glad you subscribed :)
      My advice (not that I’m a very sophisticated blogger or know that much about what I’m doing) is to post often. Like once every couple days if not every day. And keep your posts kinda long…at least 400 words. I’ll definitely check out your site!

  7. hahah is that pic from happiness of the katakuris, it’s the weirdest most awesome movie i have ever seen and telling ur happiness is like their just makes me think about their i just won over the zombies happiness xD lulx but goood stuff otherwise.. sorry for a such a random remark

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