You’re Afraid

Today, I noticed someone was sent to my blog by Google (ohhh Google, you’re almost as weird as me) with the search “I’m afraid my tall strong wife beats me.” First, I want to find this person and give him a cuddle. Then I want to ask if he means “I’m afraid! My tall strong wife beats me!” or if it’s the I’m afraid as in “Oh yeah, and I regret to inform you that my wife beats me.” Then I want to ask if he liked the post Google directed him to. But I actually don’t know which post that is…because I don’t write about wives, beatings, or fear. I think…

Google has a weird computer brain. Because it also directed “creep emailing me” to this blog. I guess I write about creeps, but I’m still confused.

Oh yeah, and y’all love Katy Perry. Or at least, it seems that way to me. I have gotten hundreds of hits on this blog from searches like “Katy Perry California Gurls” or “Katy Perry Cupcake Bra” or “Katy Perry Bending Over” (um…). I wrote about Katy Perry once. Or maybe it was twice. I dunno. Anyway, I wrote about how she creeped me out. But then I broke my own rules and decided I like her. I even shout-sing Hot N Cold in my car sometimes. Oops. I sing Ke$ha sometimes too. I’m a huge hypocrite. You love me.

“This is something this is nothing jazz hands.” Do you think Google will tell me who wrote that in because I want to find them and force them to be my friend. They make no sense. Neither do I. Soul mates!

And of course, the ever wonderful “How to lips.” Maybe I should take this person out on a date and teach them how to lips. First I have to look it up, though, cuz I don’t know how to lips either.
I know! I’ll Google it!!!

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6 thoughts on “You’re Afraid

  1. Oh I’m SO glad that I’m not alone! I have this serious affliction!
    In the past month I’ve had 22 searches for “massive cleavage” and 25 other random cleavage searches.
    And this: a-kata mutiara cinta
    What the crap is that?
    I like “funny kid psychology” though ;) That brings me joy!
    Keep us updated with the funny google searches my love.

    Butterfly kisses

  2. Pingback: коты, kočka, kaķis, חתול, and кот « writer's block

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