What they say: “You look so pretty in these pictures!”
What they mean: “I think you look okay, but I feel obligated to tell you that you’re absolutely gorgeous because society dictates that empty compliments should be handed out every 5 minutes.”
What they say: “We’re just friends.”
What they mean: “I kinda want him, but I don’t want to admit it/am embarassed/don’t know if he wants me/don’t want people to think I’m a tramp.”
What they say: “I’ve been so busy lately, I had absolutely no time to call.”
What they mean: “I’m an arse and you know it, but we also both know that you’ve been waiting by the phone. And since love is a huge game, I didn’t call because I know that you’ll grow more attracted to me with each passing day.”
What they say: “I don’t kiss and tell.”
What they mean: “We totally didn’t kiss, but I don’t want you to know that because I like to stay mysterious. Oh yeah, and I want you to think I’ve got game.”
What they say: “She totally wants me.”
What they mean: “I totally want her.”
What they say: “Oh you went on a date with Joe? Isn’t he nice? We went on a couple dates last year.”
What they mean: “I still like Joe but somehow screwed it up with him and am insanely jealous that he’s moved on to you because I think you’re stupid and TOTALLY not as good as me. I want you to feel bad about yourself and think that you’re not special.”
What they say: “I’ll call you.”
What they mean: “I might text you (because I can’t handle human interaction) and maaaaaybe we’ll hang out.”
What they say: “You could totally come along with me and my boyfriend.”
What they mean: “We both know it’d be reeeeally awkward if you came along because he and I will probably make out the whole time, but I still want to be nice to you.”
What they say: “You drive me insane!”
What they mean: “I have no idea why I want you so badly, but I totally do. I want you ba-yud.”
This, my dear, is genius!
You’re so clever and so dang right! I have an awful habit of being ridiculously and bluntly honest.
I’m going to start using some of your speak to soften the blows.
“No, no, I don’t care how big your willy is”.
Thank you, Ruby! That really means a lot to me coming from you.
I have an awful habit of NOT being ridiculously blunt and honest. I think I need you to follow me around and translate my obnoxious double-talk into actual meaningful sentences.
:)
Wisdom, thy name is Cappy.
I have a problem with double-talk, too. I’m always making ambiguous statements because I’m afraid my differing opinion is going to offend someone. I’m a huge coward and hide behind blog posts. *winces* There. That was honesty. I don’t feel any better… yet.
We’re pretty similar in that respect…I hate making people feel bad/uncomfortable.
Let’s pledge to work on it! Remember:
What they say: You make me sad.
What they mean: I don’t want to admit that I, not you, control my sadness.
Hmm, how very therapist of me.
I’m really blunt, god, the things that come out of my mouth…it needs an exorcism…