We’ve all done it. I (in all my magnificence and glory) have done it. You’ve done it. He, she, it does it. I bet James Bond did it once. You know what I mean: you like someone who you barely know, but you’re trying to play it cool…Only you constantly try to show them how cool you are, which makes you seem really uncool. Uh oh. So I’ve compiled a list on what you shouldn’t do when you lurrrrve someone:
1. Don’t talk to them all the time.
They are in your mind all the time, sure. But they don’t know that, and you shouldn’t make it apparent. This person is not gonna feel comfortable around you if you text them every waking hour and call them and blabber to them on the street when you see them and… Well, you know what I mean. They will be creeped out by you (and why shouldn’t they? You’re not playing very hard to get) if you are constantly telling them every boring detail about your life and asking them questions like “What’s your favorite color?” So, you should play it cool. Be mystery girl/man. Read my blogs about how to make any twit fall in love with you (and then do exactly the opposite). Give them a taste and then make them want more! You can do it.
2. Don’t miss them.
“I miss you, what are you wearing” is not a socially acceptable statement, and it will not get the response, “I’m naked, come on over.” Instead, it will creep your dreamboat out, so don’t say/do anything that shows that you’re prematurely attached to them. Don’t compliment them on their amazingness in general (because nobody does that in real life and it kinda weirds people out if you don’t do it really smoothly…and trust me, if you’re here and looking to me for advice, you’re not smooth). Don’t tell them that you missed them; in fact, don’t say anything that could make it seem like you think about them when they’re not around.
3. Don’t be touchy.
Don’t you dare stroke his/her arm. Don’t. You. Dare. It’s just weird, especially if your dreamboat didn’t say, “Please touch my arm.”
4. Don’t be obvious.
Don’t tell all your friends how much you like your dreamboat. It’ll get back to them and they’ll feel strange. If you like them, ask them on a date or tell them about a concert you’re going to. “Hey there, cutie, wouldn’t it just be a crazy twist of fate if we happened to show up at the same concert because you happened to find this ticket in my hand that someone accidentally dropped…into my hand…that I’m now holding out toward you? Weird. See you there, maybe.” See? That’s totally not weird.