I really can’t stay
But baby, it’s cold outside.
I’ve got to go away
But baby, it’s cold outside…
That is the lamest argument I’ve ever heard. If it’s cold outside, walk her home and cuddle her on the way. Or drive her in your car (carriage?). Or give her some coco for the road. But don’t go all date-rapey and beg her to stay on the premise that it’s cold outside.
The neighbors might faint
But baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink?
No cabs to be had out there
Lady, you suspect that there’s something in the drink and you don’t run screaming for the door? I guess nobody taught her about roofies. Induce vomiting immediately!
My sister will be suspicious
Gosh your lips look delicious
HE’S GONNA EAT YOUR LIPS. HE. IS. A. CANNIBAL.
I’ve got to get home
But baby, you’d freeze out there
Say, lend me a coat
It’s up to your knees out there
Lend her your snowshoes, man. You are utterly useless.
I love Christmas songs. Really. Once mid-December rolls around, I listen to them nonstop. Usually, the cheesier the better. But this song drives me insane. The male part is usually sung in a really creepy deep voice that is waaaay too reminiscent of a date-rapist. It just weirds me out…I guess it’s meant to be sweet, and I usually appreciate that sort of thing, but…
Well, I guess the reason I hate it is because it’s something I’d totally fall for.