What Do You Do?

If someone walks up to you in the supermarket, takes all your groceries out of your cart and puts them in their own cart, what do you do?
A) Just stand there, confused, as you watch them do it.
B) Begin removing their items from their cart while they remove yours.
C) Cry, because they put their filthy hands on your legumes.
D) Scream at them.

If a stranger walks into the bathroom while you’re using it and, instead of leaving, simply sits down on the floor and looks at you, what do you do?
A) Sit there, screaming at them to get away.
B) Reach for your cell phone and call 911.
C) Finish pottying, stand up, and put your pants on again.
D) Start up a conversation with the person.

If you walk into your apartment and find your roommate drawing pictures on the kitchen floor with paint, what do you do?
A) Put on your Bob Ross wig and join in.
B) Sit down and cry, because that floor has let you walk all over it for SO LONG and it deserves better.
C) Start painting on your roommate’s bed.
D) Pour paint down your roommate’s pants.

If, during a job interview, your interviewer starts picking his nose, what do you do?
A) Tell him that he’s disgusting and you don’t want the job.
B) Stay silent and continue the interview.
C) Throw a box of tissues at him.
D) Pick your nose too, so that he doesn’t feel self-conscious.

If you’re at dinner your date tells you they’ve performed a surgery on their own cat, even though they’re not a veterinarian, what do you do?
A) Nod along and tell them you perform goldfish scale-transplants all the time.
B) Cry, because the only man who has ever loved you is your cat.
C) Throw your food in his face.
D) Order 3 more drinks and the most expensive dish on the menu, tell him you need to go to the bathroom, and then leave instead, making him pick up the (extremely large) check.

13 thoughts on “What Do You Do?

Add yours

  1. Oh dear God, how I WISH my life was exciting enough to have these things happen. I’m usually the one instigating these things – yes, I’m the crazy floor-painting, nose-picking, feline surgeon!

  2. Ooo, yay, a quiz! I will take this and you can give me my free mental health consultation. That’s what this is for… right? Or… oh who the heck cares!?

    B, D, A, B, A

    Am I normal!?!?!

  3. Okay, I’m laughing out loud right now. Mainly because of this:

    “Cry, because the only man who has ever loved you is your cat.”

    Great stuff!

  4. A (with a lot of useless sputtering, no doubt)

    A (only because I do not bring my cell into the bathroom with me; maybe I should start)

    E (document what they’re doing and let them know they’re paying the security deposit)

    B (only bc I assume I must NEED the job)

    Half-A/ Half-D combo (smile and nod and agree politely… then use the ladies room as excuse to cover a hasty escape)

  5. If a blogger writes a post describing disturbing situations and asks you how you handle them, what do you do?

    A) answer a question with a question
    B) sit there feeling confused
    C) wonder if these things actually happened to the blogger
    D) be glad they have not happened to you
    E) all of the above

  6. I never know what to say during dinner.

    And although financial analysts are right at the top of the ‘who’s hot’-list, together with firefighters and F16 pilots, talking about mathematical cost models in Excel doesn’t dazzle her with excitement :(

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