When I Rule the World

1. Everyone will have a British accent, because it’s so much easier to sound clever that way.

2. Saint Cappy’s day will be a universal holiday. No big deal.

3. No one will ask me if I feel like a plastic bag. Because I do. Sometimes I have to swallow a rock just so I don’t drift away.

4. There will be no more Pirates of the Caribbean sequels. Because really, enough’s enough.

5. Sassy Gay Friend won’t do product placement in his videos. I get that he has to make money. I really do. And the product placement is alway funny, but I don’t want to be advertised to anymore.

6. JK Rowling will write another amazing fantasy series.

7. Physics won’t be so hard.

8. Boring, uninteresting, and angry people will be banished from the earth.

9. My bike will be allowed to be my boyfriend. He loves me.

10. I will have my own Disney Channel show called…er, I dont actually know. Maybe you guys could help me out on that…

11. Mike will be banned from the Jersey Shore and will be told how unattractive he really is.

12. Dog lovers will stop dissin on my kitty.

13. Winter weather will stop in early March.

14. The Lord of the Rings will have been real, and the book series will in fact be counted as a history book.

15. I will be an elf. (See #14.)

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6 thoughts on “When I Rule the World

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