The Etiquette of Life

Oh yeah, that's me.

I don’t understand. Who said we were supposed to be all ladylike? I like being ridiculous, not making sense, and walking around with my finger up my nose.

Okay, that last bit’s a lie.

But really, am I supposed to sit around and not make the hilariously inappropriate joke I want to make just because people might not like it or think I’m crazy? I think not.

Batting your eyelashes makes you look like you’re losing a contact. Wiggling your hips makes you look like a geriatric with a hip replacement. I mean, sure, ogle all you want, boys, but there’s nothing to ogle at. This flat chested, flat butted girl is taking her flatness all the way to the bank….Okay, that didn’t make sense. But admit it, it sounded kinda epic.

But really? Should I have to worry about whether my knees are fat? (I don’t think they are, but now that you mention it, I’m getting a little worried. Is it too early for liposuction?) It’s just…why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect?

All that reminds me (ish) of this: I recently finished an almost-final draft of my 100 page novella and was so excited about it…until people asked if they could read it.

Uh, no, you can’t read it, it’s like letting you see me naked! It’s not even remotely autobiographical and it’s probably one of the most private things ever! And I realized it wasn’t only that, but I didn’t want anyone to judge me. I was self conscious of something that had taken me hours and hours of agonizing nail-biting and finger exercising (and that was before I’d even started writing) that I was so damn proud of. But now all of a sudden I was ashamed to be proud of it? Like if someone didn’t like it and found out that I did, they’d hate me forever for being an idiot?

No, I’m sorry, I won’t do that to myself. So I forced myself to let about 10 of my friends read it. And you know what? They all really like it so far. So there, world. Or rather, so there, Cappy’s mind.

The mind is what keeps us from what we want. As soon as I stop overthinking everything, I love life so much better. As a character in my novella once said, “Once I’ve lost all my dignity, I have so much more fun.”

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10 thoughts on “The Etiquette of Life

  1. You rock, Cappy! You should post a small excerpt on your blog. Considering how many fans you have, and how much we enjoy reading your blog, can there be any doubt whether we’ll like your novella? Of course not. So give us a taste, however small. Can’t wait! :)

  2. I’m definitely not ladylike and I do what I like, and say what I feel…meh

    Can relate to the feeling of horror about someone reading your novella. I feel the same about mine, though in the beginning, I was SO proud of my excellent writing skills that I sent my first ever draft of my first chapter to my friend, as if it were something Shakespeare had written. When I read that draft now, I cringe, it was AWFUL. Fortunately my friend saw the potential of it, and told me the storyline was great, instead of telling me I sucked as a writer, so I didn’t end up in a corner of my room sucking my thumb and rocking myself back and forth.

    P.S Overthinking sucks, I do it all the time…grrrr

    • Glad you go through the same things as me!!!! I know what you mean, I did the same thing and my friend told me nice things about the plot. I look back and see the horror of that draft and CRINGE.
      Someday I want to read your story!

      • I am hoping I am done editing soon, but I have said that exact phrase way too many times and I’m still editing and revising…sigh

        But keeping fingers crossed that I can start querying for agents (ack!) in Summer, oh god, that’s going to be so stressful…eek

        Oh yeah, that first draft always stinks to high heaven, I bet even Stephen King had a crappy first draft, at least once…

  3. Pingback: The Etiquette of Life « writer's block | Ladylike Etiquette

  4. “The mind is what keeps us from what we want.”

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Interesting title for the post, and I completely identify with the insecurity in sharing my work. Still, when all is said and done, I’m a writer, and that’s the whole point of writing. Better to just put it all out there then keep a potential treasure hidden forever.

  5. I enjoyed reading this post. Like most people, I too like the fact as a woman, I can choose to be myself-even if I don’t always have the best equitte of being proper and lady-like. That’s the fun of being me-

    I too don’t understand. Who said we were supposed to be all ladylike? I like being ridiculous, not making sense, and walking around with my finger up my nose, or sctraching my butt. To always be proper-and lady-like would make for a boring life. !

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