I don’t understand. Who said we were supposed to be all ladylike? I like being ridiculous, not making sense, and walking around with my finger up my nose.
Okay, that last bit’s a lie.
But really, am I supposed to sit around and not make the hilariously inappropriate joke I want to make just because people might not like it or think I’m crazy? I think not.
Batting your eyelashes makes you look like you’re losing a contact. Wiggling your hips makes you look like a geriatric with a hip replacement. I mean, sure, ogle all you want, boys, but there’s nothing to ogle at. This flat chested, flat butted girl is taking her flatness all the way to the bank….Okay, that didn’t make sense. But admit it, it sounded kinda epic.
But really? Should I have to worry about whether my knees are fat? (I don’t think they are, but now that you mention it, I’m getting a little worried. Is it too early for liposuction?) It’s just…why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect?
All that reminds me (ish) of this: I recently finished an almost-final draft of my 100 page novella and was so excited about it…until people asked if they could read it.
Uh, no, you can’t read it, it’s like letting you see me naked! It’s not even remotely autobiographical and it’s probably one of the most private things ever! And I realized it wasn’t only that, but I didn’t want anyone to judge me. I was self conscious of something that had taken me hours and hours of agonizing nail-biting and finger exercising (and that was before I’d even started writing) that I was so damn proud of. But now all of a sudden I was ashamed to be proud of it? Like if someone didn’t like it and found out that I did, they’d hate me forever for being an idiot?
No, I’m sorry, I won’t do that to myself. So I forced myself to let about 10 of my friends read it. And you know what? They all really like it so far. So there, world. Or rather, so there, Cappy’s mind.
The mind is what keeps us from what we want. As soon as I stop overthinking everything, I love life so much better. As a character in my novella once said, “Once I’ve lost all my dignity, I have so much more fun.”