Mama, when I grow up, I’m gonna be in a band. Here are the names I’m considering:
The Gnome Chompskys
Our first album will be called “We Are Cunning Linguists” in order to pay homage to good ole Noam. And while we’re at it, we’ll throw some references about phonology and socialism into a love song or two. Cuz Noam just makes us want to sing about love. And old Jewish men. And moles.
Picture this: all girl punk band. Hot, right? And if our first album was called “Praise the Lord, My Cereal’s Cold,” you’d buy it…right?
A Wave Past Dawn
Think Stevie Nicks 30 years ago, complete with scarves, a tambourine, that slightly hazy look, and some damn cool hair. That’s me. It’s all about the vibes, all about the music. The members of the band only matter so far as the music that they make. That’s why my bandmates will be three cats and a pogo stick. And that, my friends, will also be the name of our first album.
Maya Rudolph Ate My Cake
A comedy band comprised of SNL lookalikes. I’ll be going for Andy Samberg’s look, but if I miss and hit Nasim Pedrad, I think I’ll survive. First album? “Just Wait Till I Pull Myself Out of This Garbage Can.”
You Killed My Ladybug
Screamo. I mean really, with a name like that, you must’ve known that I was an angry girl. Album: “Now You Must Pay; I Accept Cash, Check, and Most Major Credit Cards.”
And finally, Steezii Jeez
I was destined to make it big as a rapper. I’ve got the look (blonde), the attitude (slightly passive but loud), and the clothes (jeans that are too loose cuz I wore them 3 days in a row). Get ready for “Uptown Girl, Part One: I’ll Shank You.”