To begin this story, and help illustrate the weird ramblings my mind takes, I should let you know that I’ve been listening to Adele’s “21” nonstop for the past week. I finally bought the whole thing (I’d gotten a couple songs from it but finally caved because it’s AWESOME). So I sing in the shower (a lot) and was bustin’ out some “Someone Like You” while shaving, when I thought of something totally profound. Maybe.
I know that Adele isn’t creepy, or a stalker, or even someone I could possibly think negatively of, so just know that before I continue. I think the song is beautiful, and extremely artfully done, and I identify with it in a lot of ways.
But I also was thinking that it could totally go a different (weird) way (if you were insane, which Adele isn’t, and which I try not to be too). I’ll explain better:
I heard that you’re settled down
That you found a girl and you’re
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you
Right. So basically they used to date, then they broke up, then he got married and is happy and she’s like “Oh, I heard you’re married. I just wasn’t good enough for you, was I?! WAS I?! I HOPE SHE’S SUPER PRETTY AND SUPER DUMB!” Kinda.
Old friend why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light
I mean, I guess he hasn’t talked to you in a while because you’re not dating anymore, and because you went nutso on him after you broke up so he got a restraining order.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over
Girl, it’s over. It’s over for both of you, and he’s moved on. You’d moved on too, until you found out he had a wife and now you’re showing up at his house like “Ooh, I miss you so much, I love you even though we haven’t talked in years.” Have a little self respect, and stop “turning up out of the blue” because it’s not romantic or thoughtful, it’s sad :(
Never mind I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
“Don’t forget me”, I begged.
I’ll remember, you said, “Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
That’s the spirit! Maybe. Here’s the deal. I don’t think he’s good enough for you. Like, I get it, he was your lover and you’re sad especially since he’s moved on, but you don’t need to find someone LIKE him, you need to find someone ELSE who DOESN’T remind you of him, because that’s just sick and unhealthy.
And then she sings some more stuff about time and happiness and such, and then repeats some of the stuff she said before…
Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?
So that’s pretty sad. But I have a philosophy that goes something like this: you’ll die an old maid if you don’t get over it.
Oh, that was kinda mean. And I never live by that, so I’m a big, rude, hypocrite who just insulted an entire song by Adele that I honestly love love love just for the sake of comedy.
I make so many sacrifices for you people.
And then she sings more about finding someone like him, which personally I think is a mistake because I bet he smells a little weird and anyone who doesn’t marry Adele is a fool.
And…bow. Because that’s the end of the song and this horrendous blog post.
Oh. By the way. Do you think Adele will still marry me/be my best friend? Because she’s gorgeous and soooo talented. Watch.