Mary Poppins Pockets

My boyfriend keeps everything in his pockets. I guess that’s not unusual, since most guys don’t carry purses etc. It’s just always so hilarious to me when he pulls his phone and wallet, a whole cake and a small elephant out of his pockets at the end of the day.

What? How? How was all that stuff in there? They didn’t seem full…you didn’t look like you’d had a poo incident in the front of your pants…then how? Your pants aren’t weird or anything, right? There’s no “false bottom” in them? Is that possible?

How have you been carting all that stuff around all day? And can I have some of your magical powers?

There's an elephant in there, I swear.

Of course, I laugh at him, because I have no tact. And he may or may not strangle me (or throw his pocket elephant at me) in anger for writing a stupid blog post about his deformity unusually spacious pockets.

I laugh about it because I think it’s cute. I will never get over the novelty of his Mary Poppins/Hermione bag pockets.  I laugh because honestly, there’s no reason to laugh. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore. I know what he keeps in there (elephants, I tell you!), so it shouldn’t be surprising.

I laugh because I laugh at everything, to be honest. I think the things I say are hilarious, I laugh at my own blog posts (way too hard), I laugh at people’s pockets…it’s just what I do.

It makes me wonder, does the novelty ever wear off? I hope not. I’d like to think that I will forever laugh at his pockets, and lots of other worn out and old jokes that we’ve formulated over the years we’ve known each other. Because it seems that as long as I can laugh at him, and he can tease me for it, we’ll always be in pretty good shape.

Leave it to me to turn a post about pockets into a lesson on keeping love alive, or some such rubbish.

But seriously, I always wanted to date someone like Mary Poppins.

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10 thoughts on “Mary Poppins Pockets

  1. I soooo know what you mean. My man once weighed everything in his pockets against my purse… It weighed more. Seriously. And, it takes some of the fun out of the ol’ ‘is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me’ line. Generally it’s a huge honking bush knife or an enormous set of keys with a bottle opener, ferrocerium rod, 50′ of paracord and a kitchen sink. We’ll sit down to the telly for a little snuggling on the sofa and it’s like, “Ouch! What the Hell is that. Good grief empty your pockets! That’ll leave a bruise. Oh, so that’s where my croquet set went.” Only, it’s really a croquet set and not tasteless innuendo (which I know we all love and were hoping for).

  2. Funny story. You might say he has “deep pockets,” in which case lucky you :P

    I came across your co-blog with Girl on the Contrary at her site and just had to travel here to find out if you were really 95 years old. You’re not, so how do you know terms like “the bees knees” and stuff?

    Thoroughly enjoyable blogging, there and here. So I subscribed.

  3. Hello Cappy,

    Sure, laugh about the elephant… until you need it to help you move, push your car out of a snow bank, or transport an army over the Hindu Kush. What I am waiting for is the Swiss Army knife with the handy elephant attachment. (Or would it have to be the Indian Army knife?) I suppose the other option would be to have a boyfriend that was constantly asking you for things; “hey, you got an elephant I could borrow?”

    Craig

    Craig

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