1. All my funny has migrated into my right shoulder blade, where it has collected into a knot that has been antagonizing me for the past week. Every once in a while it tries to escape, creating a cramping sensation. I’ll rescue you, funny! I’ll get you out of there…I just need to find a good masseuse first.
2. I’ve been probed. Probably by aliens, but also possibly by my roommate. Or both, technically, if she’s an alien. They took my jokies out of me and brought them via spaceship to planet Zeblon. I bet nobody on planet Zeblon thinks I’m funny either…
3. The rain washed my funny away like pollen from a tree. It just came pouring down and now my funny’s in a puddle somewhere in the middle of the street. Or it could have evaporated and then rained down again and…what if my funny is in someone’s toilet water?
4. Peter Pan stole it because Tink was almost out of Fairy Dust and apparently my ridiculous antics are practically the same thing.
5. I spewed it all out over the past year and a half and now I don’t have any more. Or I just never had it in the first place.
6. My astronomy professor stole it because he doesn’t approve. Okay, that’s an exaggeration…one time he told a joke about how he was typing into Powerpoint and a letter came in upside down…he’s got some great material. The textbook could help him out too – I’ll just give you a little taste of a reading from last week: “This does not answer the question of how the moon got its sideways motion (presumably it was not fired out of a cannon!).” Oh har, har, astronomers! Please, let me stop for air!
Whatever the reason, it feels gone! Where, oh where has my funniness gone?