Chad, Stop Shouting

Why is everyone in college such a bro? Everybody wears crew necks and shouts things. And apparently there are more than a few people here named Brock.

Top 8 reasons I pull my hair out at this place:

1. A girl in front of me at the soft serve machine “messed up” on her ice cream cone, so she sat it down on the bottom of the machine and made a new one. Are. You. Kidding. Me? How do you mess up making an ice cream cone? And even if you do, does that render it inedible? No, no it does not.

2. Some dude screamed, “CHAD!” at my face today in the dining hall. It was sort of frightening. Also, my name isn’t CHAD.

3. People don’t understand personal space. I was standing in a line yesterday when some guy behind me practically rubbed himself against my back. Then he and his obnoxious girlfriends shouted a conversation about three inches from my ear, and then he started singing “Friday.” Then I cried.

4. I haven’t eaten real beef in a month. I don’t know what they serve in the dining hall, but it ain’t real.

5. The train goes by my room (about three feet away) and “toots” (blares) its horn at the exact moment I’m about to fall asleep.

6. People just stare at me. While I’d like to say it’s because I’m absolutely stunning and turn people into jello the moment they set eyes on me, it’s more likely because everyone here is an idiot.
Okay, that’s a lie. But a lot of people here are idiots. A lady ran into me today and instead of saying anything, she just stared at me. So I apologized, even though I’d been standing still so it obviously wasn’t my fault. I think I just felt like someone needed to say, “I’m sorry,” and she wasn’t picking up the slack. So I did.

7. A girl ran into my legs last week when I was sitting down in class. I was waiting for class to start and she just bowled into my legs to get to a seat next to me. EXCUSE ME, my legs were there! And as she just blundered around, trying to untangle herself from me, I APOLOGIZED. AGAIN. Because she didn’t even look at me. She should’ve been sorry. I have knee problems, and if they’d flared up again I would have stuck the law on her! These legs are valuable and precious, sister. Apologize for what you’ve done.

8. I got pushed off the sidewalk. Okay, not exactly. But when walking in the U S of A, people tend to stay to the right on sidewalks, right? Not here. People walk side by side, 8 to a group, and knock people (me…) into the mud. Because here, wherever there isn’t sidewalk, there’s usually mud.

And that, folks, is why college is for goons.

13 thoughts on “Chad, Stop Shouting

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  1. OMG, Caps. Sorry you have to put up with such brutish, bullish, pig-headed people. To dump an ice cream cone just because the soft serve didn’t come out pretty? What a waste! And your poor knees! Well, 3 1/2 more years of this, right? Maybe one day you can set them straight. I recommend writing an editorial about rudeness (and wastefulness) for your college paper. Maybe then, they’ll take the hint.

  2. Aww… yeah, there are an awful lot of goons at university. My sister’s residence is right next to a firehall. Apparently, they have random drills through the day, where all the sirens go, the trucks peel out, go around the block and come back in… she hasn’t had an uninterrupted night’s sleep since starting school.
    Hopefully you have met a few competent/intelligent people who don’t suck – theoretically, some of the people at university should have half a brain :)

  3. Oh man, as soon as you said there was more than one Brock, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. People are SO RUDE. Not holding open doors is one of my pet peeves – have you gotten that one?

  4. Holy crap. Next time, just glare at all the idiots bumping into you, or running into you, or shouting in your ear. Practice the stare of death. I’m really good at it, if looks could kill, London would be half empty ha ha ha

  5. ouch! sounds like a rough day. I hope things get better! (I am in England at the moment, where everyone says they’re sorry, without ever doing anything wrong. I love them, all of them!)

  6. Wow. Where do you go to college? I’m finding that returning to college at an age where I’m old enough to be most student’s mother poses some interesting irritations, but on the whole, being gray haired has some advantages; most students will at least be polite to me.

    1. Well I prefer to keep my location anonymous, but the college itself was actually wonderful (I actually am transferring next semester since the school I wrote about it much too far from home). Sometimes the people just drove me nuts. But I guess it doesn’t take too much to drive me nuts anyway… :)
      Best of luck with your return to college! I salute you! It’s hard enough when I’m the same age as everyone else.

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