Well, it’s been another one of those days: the kind of day when you just let the elevator’s doors slam in someone’s face as they rush toward it. The kind of day when, if you worked at a coffee shop, you’d purposefully make everyone’s drinks scalding hot. The kind of day when everyone around you deserves to FEEL YOUR PAIN.
Well, okay, maybe not quite that bad of a day, but it’s just a poo day.
Last night, I dropped my laptop on my big toe. “How does one drop a laptop on one’s foot?” you might ask. Well, it’s actually quite simple; you just hold the laptop above your toe and let it go.
I, however, decided to switch it up a bit. I’d put my computer in a canvas bag to bring it upstairs with my other things, and just as I was about to put it down on the ground, the strap of the bag broke and the laptop sped toward my toe a 6,000 mph.
It was truly magnificent, the amount of swear words that I held back because I knew my mother could hear me. I’ve never wanted to scream so badly in my life (and I’ve slammed my finger in a large wooden door and had three serious knee surgeries).
Anyway, in the end, my mom couldn’t hear me because she was downstairs working on something with my dad, so I just sat on my bed and writhed around while groaning.
My mom finally realized what was going on and I asked her to get me some ice. As she did so, she told my dad what had happened, at which point he shouted, “SHE DROPPED HER MAC LAPTOP ON HER FOOT? IS THE LAPTOP OKAY?” Thanks, Dad, I really appreciate your concern.
Funnily enough, that was my boyfriend’s first question as well…
After my mom brought me ice, I explained how I’d dropped the laptop on my toe. “The strap broke?” she asked, picking the bag up by its other strap, which also promptly broke…hitting her toe. It was a pretty priceless moment, though she thankfully didn’t actually hurt her tootsie.
My poor toe, however, is now slightly swollen, completely unbendable, and a really gross shade of purple. I kept telling her I was useless now, so she should just shoot me like they do horses.
I’ve been hobbling around work all day and am finally sitting in a back file room with ice on my foot as I prop it on a desk…thank goodness I work at my parents’ office at the moment and they don’t mind me waiting back here while my toe grows back.
But hey, at least my pedicure didn’t get messed up…although I’m worried about what I’ll find when I finally take the polish off. Probably more purple.