I love food, as some of you may have already noticed. So, as may be obvious, I really enjoy grocery shopping. I especially like shopping at Trader Joe’s, a “specialty retail grocery store” in a few states across the country. I went shopping there a few days ago for a couple random things, and I thought I’d share my (bizarre) TJ’s thought process with you here:
Oh, those are pretty flowers. I wish I could buy some, but I would definitely forget to water them, and that would sort of be like murdering them…oh my goodness that guy went to my high school, run away! Run away! PHEW. Close call.
Alright. Apples, apples. I like Pink Ladies, because they remind me of the girls in the movie Grease. Ho hum, maybe I’ll pick up some Puffins cereal, oh look! Barb the Puffin is on the side of the box. What a cute puffin.
I should probably avoid the freezer aisle, because that’s where they keep the cookies too, but…oh no, my cart is spinning out of control! Must…resist…frozen…section…can’t…Here I am in the freezer section…
Their microwave chicken tikka masala is so good, I’ll get three boxes. And a lamb vindaloo. Mostly because I really enjoy the word vindaloo. And one more chicken masala for good measure…great. Moving along…HEY LADY GET OUT OF MY WAY.
Resist the cookies. Resist the cookies. Ahh, cookies resisted. Maybe to counter the fact that I was so drawn to the cookies, I should buy some tomato bisque. That’s healthy, right? Good. Aaaand continue.
Oh no. There are baked goods here. I have wandered into the cake section. They have whoopie pies. Oh. God. Carrot cake?! CINNAMON BREAD?!? RUN, CAPPY! RUN!
Was it weird that I just ran out of that section? A few people looked at me strangely. Hmm pineapple juice would be nice. No! You’re on a budget! Just walk to the checkout counter. Closer. Closer. Good.
Oh no, they have chocolate bars here…
And so concludes my stream-of-consciousness blog about my struggles with sweets in grocery stores.