We’re All Dying

finalsI have found the depths of the library. It’s kinda dark over here, I can’t lie. But it’s the only way to escape my aftermath-of-atomic-bomb disaster of a dorm room and get some studying done. Not that I’ve gotten any done yet…Oops. Sorry, college, WordPress calls.

It is that infamous week of the dead that comes just before finals week. And finals week comes right before the stress-induced coma that comes right before a food-induced coma that comes at the holidays. If that makes sense. Sorry, my brain fell out yesterday.

As my epic gal pal Chloe so wonderfully put it, “I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same as I do before finals. If it continued into my adult life, it could cause alcoholism, and that’s some dangerous territory.” Or at least I think she said that. I was overdosing on Ancient History at the time.

For those of you who don’t know, Dead Week is the week before Finals when students are supposed to study, prepare, etc for their final exams. At some universities, all classes are cancelled so that students don’t die of stress, while at other universities professors are prohibited from giving tests or assignments that week.

At my university, Dead Week isn’t very dead. I’ve already taken two tests this week, and I still have 5 finals next week (paper due Sunday night, and two exams each Monday and Tuesday). I want to write a strongly worded letter to someone in the administration and tell them that everyone I know is crumpling into a helpless heap because of this workload.

I have “stocked up” on my traditional 1 can of diet Pepsi that will get me through finals week (any more than a few sips a day and I’ll turn into a jittering mess) and am attempting to catch up on sleep this week, so hopefully I’ll pass everything and you won’t see me begging on the street selling “pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue” before Christmas.

I think we all know I’d be a rubbish homeless person. Besides, the only thing I really could offer in return for $$$ would be to psychoanalyze you or do your makeup, and I while I can do a mean cat eye in 30 seconds, I feel like there’s a low demand for that on the streets. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

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