The Bachelor is all about real love, and it is teaching me so much! Like:
1. The definition of a “fairytale” is competing with 24 other girls and being as catty as possible while at the same time pretending to be normal in the company of the man you’re trying to woo.
2. It’s totally normal to compete with said 24 girls because love is a battlefield.
3. When you feel upset, you should throw yourself down the stairs.
4. Daddy issues are always appreciated.
5. When the guy you like takes off his shirt, it is completely appropriate to cat call at him. On that note, the minute he walks into the room you should wolf whistle.
6. When you see a guy you like on a date with another girl, it is completely appropriate to interrupt and ask if you can “cut in.” They will not object, but probably will bitch about it behind your back.
7. The more vapid you are, the farther you’ll go…as long as you have a tattoo with a lot of meaning.
8. Even when he’s got 20 other women he’s kissing, you’re special. You’re so special.
9. Women should fight each other for a man.
10. Men should feel great when women fight each other for them.
11. You can be a terrible kisser as long as you’re The Bachelor.
Basically, this show is a lot like my life in television form. Be jealous.