Hello muffins! Remember how, back before cellphones, if you talked to yourself people thought you were a nutcase? Nowadays, I can’t tell if you’re crazy or talking on your Bluetooth. This bothers me. Can’t you just hold your phone to your face? You’re standing in an elevator for God’s sake (or maybe walking around campus, standing in a coffee shop, whatever), how difficult is it to move your arm up to your ear and hold your cellular device? Because…
1. I think you’re talking to me. I was in the elevator once when a guy asked, “What are you up to tonight?” At first, I felt creeped out because hello, I don’t know you and then I had to consider whether I was going to answer or not, and then when I finally decided to answer I realized that I am a total idiot and he wasn’t even talking to me. Aca-awkward.
2. I think you’re insane because you’re walking around talking to trees and bushes and yourself…it’s weird, y’all. You look like you’re listening to music with your iPod headphones and then you start saying stuff like “I love you so much” or “Yeah, my hamster died so we had to fly to Maui and bury him on the beach. It’s how he would’ve wanted it.” So then I get confused because…are you telling that to me, the bush, or your headphones? Or the person inside your headphones? I just don’t know, and frankly it makes me want to commit you to an asylum because that needs to be medicated.
I thought there were more reasons than 2, but I guess I didn’t plan this post too well. Basically, don’t be a twit. It’s confusing when you don’t use your phone properly (unless you’re driving, then Bluetooth it up by all means, because I’d rather not die).