Wrong Number, Bro

You know when you get a call from a number you don’t recognize and you’re sure it’s a wrong number, so you just stare at the phone in terror (the terror part might just be me) until it stops ringing? That just happened 5 minutes ago. They left a voicemail.

“Yeah sorry, somebody was on the other line. But, uh, as I was saying, the 4th quarter projections are up. I know Tim was not so optimistic, but you know Tim, he’s always flying by the seat of his pants. What can you do, he’s not so smart. But yeah so if you want to call me back, we can maybe head downtown Friday, get some brews. I think the Chinks opened up a new bar downtown, so… I heard they like to party. Just hit me up and I’ll see you tomorrow.

I have so many things to say to this.

1. You made it past my inbox in which I say “Hey, it’s Cappy, leave me a message!” in a really peppy voice. How did you not realize I was not friends with you?

2. That damn Tim and his pant rockets. He needs to calm down and get himself an education. He needs to get on your level, because you’re a genius. Duh.

3. Brews.

4. Did you say Chinks? I definitely listened to that part 5 times to make sure, and you definitely said Chinks. This is upsetting on so many levels. But hey, at least they’re down to party.
If this was not a racist remark, you need to enunciate more.

5. I don’t want you managing my finances/being any part of my business because you’re an idiot and — dare I say it — a jackass.

6. I will not be seeing you tomorrow, and if you call me again, I will write another blog post about you. You’ve been warned.

6 thoughts on “Wrong Number, Bro

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  1. Yeah, a real class act, that guy. Maybe your phone intercepted a call made from the late 1800s? Because I think that’s about the time racist jackasses were still using the word “chink.”

    1. Hopefully! That would be a little more acceptable, huh?
      If so, I need to start looking into the fact that my phone basically time travels…that could make for some excellent blogging material

  2. It always baffles me when people can get past my voicemail and leave a message for someone else – really, were you not listening but then expect me to respond to your drivel? Even worse is when I get messages at work for the wrong people – especially when it seems to not be directly to anyone at my company – because I don’t have a direct line, you had to listen to the Company name, then my name AND then leave me a message about how many whatzits to order for store #109 when I work in INSURANCE.

    Wrong Number Texting is much more fun and infinitely more excusable: http://nancyfrancis.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/canadian-texting/

  3. What I do is say “Me no speak…uh…no english..sorry” and then hang up. (Usually i do it in an accent.)
    I’m asian so it’s not racist. I think.

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