Four Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give a S***

bikini body
I found this photo online and couldn’t resist. The sentiment is just too perfect.

I’d like to begin this post by establishing that I hate Lena Dunham, and it has nothing to do with her appearance and everything to do with her mind – which is the opposite of why most people dislike her. I think the show Girls is utter tripe and that I could probably write a more convincing show about today’s youth, but whatever. All that aside, I admire her for one reason: she doesn’t give a shit. When I say this, I mean she doesn’t give a shit about what people say about her body. And, she says, “I am going to show my thighs every day till I die.”

I recently read an article  about this, and the author made a few amazing points. Why should she, or any other woman for that matter, be constantly preoccupied with her looks or her weight? Why should she feel sorry for how she looks (which is actually just fine, by the way)? Why should she be responsible for hiding herself and saving the rest of the world from the absolute misery of looking at her thighs, her arms? With that in mind, here are 4 reasons why you, like Lena Dunham, should tell everyone else to shove off.

1. If Your Clothes Fit, Wear Them – As long as you are wearing an appropriate outfit (and by that I mean wearing business attire to work, a swimsuit to the beach, etc) and it fits you (so that you are comfortable and feel confident in yourself), you’re golden. If someone has a problem with the fact that your thighs rub together a little bit, then stab them in the eyes and save them the trouble of looking at you. It isn’t your responsibility to make everyone feel comfortable when you don’t fit their skewed model of the “appropriate” female form. Just because someone else is attracted to unhealthy, bony women doesn’t mean that you have to become one or hide under a muumuu dress for the rest of your life.

2. It’s Not Your Responsibility to Fit the Mold, But it Is Your Responsibility to Break It – Do women all over the world a favor and be an amazing size 16. For goodness sake, as long as you’re not about to die of cardiac arrest, it doesn’t matter how big you are. I say this because I want y’all to be healthy, and I want y’all to feel good, but if you care at all about how your children are going to grow up, if you want your daughter to be able to be happy the way she really is, then start now. Start today and say, “I am wonderful, and I am not to be judged solely by how I look.” Go get a great job and be amazing at it. Raise your children the way you should. Have wine with your friends. Enjoy life. Eat some butter. Let the skinny girls worry about their upper arm fat and you just embrace yours.

3. If You Obsess About Your Weight, How Are You Gonna Live Your Life – I am speaking from experience here, y’all. If you’re constantly worried about how other people view you, you will not live a happy and productive life. I struggle with this daily, and I feel guilty for exposing people to my “grotesque” form sometimes (I quickly snap out of it, usually, but it isn’t always easy). But how am I going to grace the world with my amazing presence and talent if I can’t even walk out my front door without feeling terrible about myself? So, I encourage you all (myself included) to try to let it go. Just be amazing the way you are right now. If you want to lose weight, go ahead, but don’t obsess. Live, because you only have about 80 years total, and most of those are spent doing things you don’t like. So those other years, the amazing middle ones, should be spent giving the world your talents. Write, paint, dance, whatever, but do it in the best way you can. Be carefree, and tell everyone else to go shove it and worry about their own belly fat.

4. There Are a Million Men Who Love Your Fat – Seriously. Sure, there are a lot of guys who like super skinny girls, and that’s their prerogative. You like who you like, they like who they like. But there are a whole bunch of other guys who are worth your time who loooooove the way you look. And if you’re confident about it, they like it even more. It sounds like something your mother would say (I’m pretty sure mine did a few times), but mothers are typically right.

So take my advice (I’m always right, even if I don’t believe it myself). Adele is your new role model. Lena Dunham has empowered you. I have hypnotized you into believing me. Go out there and be fierce about your body, and let your arm fat wag about with wild abandon – just don’t feel bad about it.

Listen to Adam Hills. His defense of Adele starts around 30 seconds: 

Note: This all applies to men too, as Ben from Ben’s Bitter Blog pointed out! I just know nothing about the “male condition” as it were, so I didn’t mention it. But if you got it, boys, flaunt it! 

17 thoughts on “Four Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give a S***

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  1. How about the men? Can we have esteem too, even though we aren’t Abercrombie and Fitch models? I love this. We are should just be comfortable with who we are right?

    1. I just made an edit to the post and said just that! Thanks for reminding me ;) You men should stick it to the man! Or…stick it to the woman! Be who you are!

      1. It’s okay. We aren’t offended. We are who we are anyways. Whether people judge us or not. At least that’s the way I am. I don’t speak for all mandom.

  2. I don’t know how many countless hours I have spent obsessing over the way I look, not being pretty enough or whatever. I’m trying not to worry so much now but it’s easier said than done, especially when the media is constantly feeding us the message that how you look is the single most important thing.

    1. I completely agree! I feel the same way, and this post was just as much for me as other people. But I think if we stick together and don’t criticize others’ looks, we might be able to start loving our own looks too…thanks so much for stopping by, and best of luck to you!!!

  3. hey Cappy – wonderful post. this needs to start being the consistent message out there. for years and years and years a healthy body image was one with a healthy amount of fat beneath the skin; it meant that the person was a successful hunter/gatherer, or lived somewhere that food was abundant or they were affluent and could afford to eat wonderfully. it’s only in the last few decades (thanks Twiggy, et al) that thin is in, and it has made so many people unhealthy. people have eating disorders because they are trying to be thin, or because they are depressed that they don’t seem to be able to get thin no matter how hard they try. it’s ridiculous and nobody seems to be able to win. so if we get the message out that winning is being happy with who you are and being healthy, then maybe people will start to try to be those two things, rather than trying to be thin. maybe the opposite sex (or same sex) will find happy and healthy attractive, instead of finding thin attractive. one can only hope. have you seen this? dove is the one company i know of that actually seems to be trying to bring this to the forefront

    1. Thank you so much! You really said it all there. I completely agree, and I think there might be a gradual shift soon, but who knows! One can only hope, and try to be part of the change. I love those Dove ads, I think they’re a great part of education for women these days! Thanks so much for stopping by and for your input! xo. Cheers!

  4. Reblogged this on Namaskaram Baby and commented:
    This really has nothing to do with surrogacy, but I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that at least 51% of the readers will enjoy this post by Cappy. I thought the sentiments VERY worth sharing and since there is no update on our surrogacy just now, plus it’s a long weekend and there likely won’t be any updates for at least a few days, I wanted to put up something…. So this is what I chose.

  5. Being a member of the male species, let me get one thing out there. Don’t compare yourself to the women you see in magazines like Vogue, or on the Karl Lagerfeld catwalk.. I don’t know anybody who is interested in women looking like that. It just something the industry made up for god knows what reason. But things are changing for the better; with women like Jennie Runk making the difference.

    I think Marlene Dietrich said it years ago already: “A man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman – any woman – with beautiful legs.”

    I rest my case.

  6. I wish everyone can agree on this! Fat means you can be warmer and you should be able to survive longer. I think the way you look is a first world problem. I bet somewhere else in the world wished they were fat because they were starving. If only the whole dang universe could agree on peace, beauty, and lifestyle. (It looks really random now that I see it.)

    1. But you’re so right. I feel like there are so many more important things to worry about than what you look like…it’s so stupid of us to care so much, but it’s so engrained in our culture that it’s hard to shake free sometimes.

      1. Yeah. Maybe it dated back to the caveman where he would only like the pretty cave girls so to survive like animals have to do by mating, the female would have to attract the male…

    1. I read the post and looked at the photos and they’re GORGEOUS. Thank you so much for sharing, because she’s so freaking right on so many levels, and those photos were strikingly beautiful, as were the women in them :)

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