keep-calm-and-cycle-on-201I have a feeling that a lot of this post is going to be written in capitals, so if you’re not down with that then its best to just shut your computer off and step away now.

I went on an easy ride this morning (I’m training for a 45 miler on Saturday) at like 11, which is a terrible time to ride because it’s just beginning to get hot, and it was hazy and kinda muggy today too. So I’m riding along, enjoying my time outside, sweating more than I would like to admit, when a car drives by me kind of slowly. I was about to wave at them for being kind to me and slowing down when some DIMWIT sticks his head out the window and SPITS AT ME. Y’ALL. HE. SPAT. AT. ME.

I didn’t get hit, but that’s not the point. Who does that? Who decides, “I am having such a great time with my friends right now. You know what would make it better? Spitting on a girl while she rides her bike. I am an amazing human being.”

I’m so sick of getting crap when I ride. Riding is therapeutic for me. Riding has helped me lose 20 lbs this summer. Riding makes me so incredibly happy I feel like I’ll burst. It makes me feel free. It destroys negativity and…riding is my everything. 

So why are people so intent on being twats? Side note: a twat is a pretty stupid, yet strangely fun to say, slang term for a vulva. Basically, today, a man was driving a car like he was a vulva…with no cognizance of what he was doing, no morals, no anything. He was a vulva. And so was The Spitter and everyone else in that vehicle who enjoyed the Spitting Debacle of 2013.

Anyway, why? Why can’t you just drive in your car to get from Point A to Point B? Maybe throw in a little car-singing along the way, a little beverage-sipping perhaps. Chat with a friend. If you’re feeling adventurous, hold hands with someone. But really? You have to be a huge jerk and spit at me while I’m riding along on the side of the road?

I’ve had people throw cans at me before. That’s a double no-no because it also involves littering. I’ve had people honk at me right as they were passing me. I’ve had them scream at me, accelerate suddenly to scare me, blah blah. BUT I KEEP RIDING. So I don’t know what the purpose of assholes SPITTING at me is, really. Is it fun? Is it the most hilarious thing you’ve ever done? If so, you should probably just go home and watch TV forever because your life isn’t very interesting. Is it a thrill? Does it thrill you to scare the hell out of someone who did nothing to you?

A friend of mine has a brother in law who got SHOT with a BB gun while he was riding out here once. What kind of toothless redneck moron would shoot someone while they were riding their bike?

I feel like there’s not much else for me to say without using the word twat a lot more, and as much as I’d love that, I don’t think my mom would approve. So just know this: some humans are jerks, so the rest of us should all strive to be less-jerky, otherwise the planet will be overrun by absolute fools in 20 years.


Ok, I’m done.

11 thoughts on “HUMANS ARE JERKS

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  1. Who are these people!? How rude! Spitting is quite possibly one of the most offensive things someone can do in my books. At least with the littering, here you can dob the pricks in, all you need is the number plate of the car and a description, $220 fine! That would take away some of the pain at least, but spitting, filthy filthy habit.

  2. I had no idea people were that rude to bicyclists. That’s terrible and I’m sorry you had to endure that. But here’s what I got out of this: YOU LOST 20 LBS!! Congratulations, girl! I’m proud of you. I used to love bike riding, but no longer have a bike. On Long Island it was easy to bike because it’s all flat. Here though it’s so hilly, I find it daunting. I wonder, though, if I can try again. Hmm….

    1. I did!!!! Thank you :) I still have a ways to go but I’m happy I’m healthier :)
      Also, people are psychotic and think cyclists can’t get hurt…which is dumb.
      YES ride! Hills aren’t bad at all once you do them twice :) It’s so fun, Monica!! DO IT.

  3. Shaking my head at the lack of humanity out there. Also, your use of “twat” is applauded. Growing up in the UK, I thought of “twat” as a mild form of abuse, like “twit” with teeth, but not as bad as…well, other words. Here in Canada, people are completely shocked by the use of it, I learned slightly too late….

  4. People really are far too stupid.
    I LOVE cycling, but I can’t really do it right now. I live in The Stupid Bahamas where the roads are too narrow, we don’t have sidewalks on enough streets, and people drive like morons. It is really frustrating. I have to admit, though, that when I lived in a different area and was able to ride to work, most people were super courteous, giving me lots of room, and some even stopped to give kudos for using my bike as transportation. I don’t know why all people can’t be like that.
    UGH. ANYway. Do not be discouraged. Keep at it. Ride! Don’t worry about those asshats, as annoying as they are. And maybe ride with a bag of rocks you can throw at stupid people?

  5. Ugh. I’ve always hated just walking/running on the streets for the sole reason of asshole drivers who want to taunt/cat call/throw shit. Luckily there’s a couple really long biking/jogging trails in my area (30 miles) that allow you to do your exercising in peace (less the other cyclists and runners/walkers). Do you have anything like that near you?

  6. That is just awful! Crazy! Jerky! Unacceptable!

    But really, what I took away from all if that was that you’ve lost 20 pounds from cycling. Way to go You!

  7. that is horrible! Who would spit at anyone??? Those people are highly uneducated. But do keep calm and keep on cycling. Congrats that you lost 20 pounds!!!

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