Is Everyone Gay?

I’ve been a wee bit absent lately because…well, there are lots of reasons:

1. Sorority recruitment is intense. We prepared for 6 days, then recruited for 5. My sorority had about 65 members two weeks ago…now we have 115. NEW MEMBERS GALORE!

2. I now have a job. Ish. I work for the alcohol and drug counseling center doing outreaches for incoming students. I teach them about alcohol and sex, y’all, and it’s awesome. I calculated it, and between training and outreaches, I spent at least 30 hours in the last 2 weeks doing that. So recruitment and psychology job all at once = feeling like you’re gonna pass out at any moment.

3. School just started. People call the first week of school “syllabus week” but whoever made that up is a huge liar. I had a paper due today and about 50 pages of reading for today and tomorrow and all I want to do is sleep. I might be a bit terrified that all my classes are boring, though time will tell, and I’m 99% sure that one of my professors is a huge asshole.

And now, it may just be sleep deprivation talking, but every guy I see in class is gay. Scratch that…I assume every guy I see in class is gay. There’s a guy who looks like Ryan Gosling in one of my classes but I didn’t even look twice because “he’s probably gay, Cappy.” Another guy in another class…totally attractive, also apparently gay in my mind.

What is this nonsense, brain? Am I preemptively protecting myself from romantic destruction? My gaydar has always been terrible, so I don’t know why now, of all times, I’ve decided to trust it.

I think someone needs to send a mental health specialist down here ASAP and start up some electroshock therapy so I start making sense again. Anyone willing to help me out with that?

4 thoughts on “Is Everyone Gay?

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  1. Believe me, you’re not the only who suspects that there is some sexual preference altering drug discharging into the world’s water supply as we speak. People are falling out of closets everywhere! This week we saw Wentworth Miller.

  2. Yeah, Cappy is back!
    But indeed, everyone seems to be on this new trend of being gay. However not all of us are. Yes, the tulips on the table may be confusing; as may be the fresh bedsheets every week, the Brian Molko eyes, the ‘under the Tuscan sun’-dvd, the ‘Total eclipse of the heart’ mp3, the small whole-wheat breads with cream cheese, tomatoe and pepper in the morning, the slight obsession with Dior Homme perfumes, the overall soccer disinterest, … all that, but oh so in love with girls.

    That being said, yes, the first week should be syllabus week. You have to ease your way back into the academic lifestyle.. Not head-on writing papers and reading 50 pages… or is this the 1 professor being a total tit?

    As far as your mental health goes, I think you’re doing just fine! Take deep breaths, relax.. and write.

    1. I dropped the jerk prof’s class and replaced it with a developmental psych class, which won’t be less work but will be more interesting…and the reading is mainly for my nonfiction creative writing class haha. So breathing and writing will be required in many capacities this semester.
      I’d missed your wit and comments! Glad to be back :) I promise I won’t work myself TOOOO hard in classes so I can still blog ha!

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