I have had a stupid, stupid month. Stupid. Not terrible, not the worst month of my life, just stupid.
My computer charger broke about a month ago. I have a MacBook, and it’s so wonderful and I love it, but it comes with the most useless charger cord ever. PCs always have those thick, black, heavily reinforced charger cords that will never break or become frayed even after you set a pack of ravenous rats upon them. Those are the best, most logical elements of PCs: their cords.
Of course, Apple is known for it’s aesthetically pleasing products, and therefore they produce the most useless, flimsy charging device known to man. It has a little baby cord that snaps into the computer, and any time there’s and “unwanted stress” upon that area where the cord meets the computer, it pops off. Awesome for not breaking the cord, you’d think. But (and this is a big but…like Sidney Crosby or Beyonce big) that cord is so weak that it often, according to the hundreds of reviews I read online, frays on that part of the cord.
Now, I am nothing if I’m not an excellent repair-woman. I took electrical tape and repaired the broken casing around the cord, and it worked for about 3 months before dying the most tragic, dramatic death ever.
So I ordered a crappy replacement on Amazon, because I didn’t want to spend 80 dollars buying one from Apple.
That crappy replacement lasted about 2 weeks before literally snapping in half. It popped off and there were blue sparks and I was terrified and may have had a mini heart attack.
So I ordered one from Apple. I gave in, y’all, because my entire college career centers around having a working computer. Half of my class documents are online, I take quizzes online, and I turn in all of my essays online. So yeah, it’s worth 80 bucks to me at this point to just have my sanity and be able to use my computer. Oh, how I long for the days of the typewriter. Or even scrolls. I would be so down with some scrolls.
I ordered the charger on Wednesday night, paid 17 dollars for next day shipping (to be delivered Friday) and waited.
I’m still waiting, y’all. The package was shipped from California, logically travelled to Memphis (I guess Elvis wanted to bless my package before it was sent to me) and is now sitting in a processing center in a town 2 hours away from mine. But! It won’t be here until Monday, according to some idiot from FedEx, because there’s a storm in another town in another state, and my package must first go there but it can’t because there’s a storm.
We must send the package INTO the storm! Send it into the storm to test its resilience, and then we will know that it is suitable to charge Cappy’s computer.
My favorite muffin and wife/best friend Chloe has 20 bucks on it arriving damaged, hacked apart by some sort of freak Pacific Northwest tornado situation.
I am miffed. I am very, very miffed. Apple has refunded me 20 dollars (thank you very much) and FedEx may or may not be doing the same, depending on how much I (and my mother) complain (a lot).
I swear, though, if it snows tomorrow while I trudge up to campus to do my work in the library, I am suing FedEx for psychological damages. My brain has melted and is pouring out my ears right now.