Goodbye


I'm leaving Seattle and I want to cry. This has never happened. The Ice is Getting Thinner by Death Cab for Cutie came on my iPod, which doesn't help since it's full of tragedy and sadness and practically pulls the tears out of your eyeballs anyway. I've never had a great experience in Seattle. I... Continue Reading →

Thank You


Dear Death Cab, Thank you. Thank you for playing Transatlanticism in its entirety last night. Thank you for not speaking between songs because "that's not how you'd listen to an album." Thank you for making me cry like an idiot in the middle of thousands of people. Thank you for turning the 5 minute long... Continue Reading →

I Would Ship You All


I might secretly want to write fan fiction. Like, really badly, if only to make it so absurdly ridiculous that I'll get some sort of cult following of 14 year old girls who love me and make me rich and famous. Kind of like that doof who wrote 50 Shades of Grey, only...a million times... Continue Reading →

Are You Single or What?!


The world needs to be clearly labeled so I don't make a fool of myself. For example, I'd appreciate if, when I was lost as a driver, I could pop up a sign that says, "I'm not from around here, so I will be driving weirdly for the next few blocks. Please don't road rage... Continue Reading →

And Sean Cried…


Hopefully you guys don't mind my rants about The Bachelor, cuz heeere comes another one! I just finished watching the most recent episode online and I shall summarize it for y'all in case you don't follow the nonsense that is The Bachelor. Sean goes to the hometowns of the 4 remaining girls and meets their... Continue Reading →

Patrick Swayze, Be My Valentine


Swayze, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 1. You're basically a triple threat. You sang "She's Like The Wind" (it came on my Pandora this morning while I was getting ready and I just about died), danced and acted in Dirty Dancing, all while rocking a pretty naughty body and wearing... Continue Reading →

Santa, You’re A Bad Husband


I know Christmas is over, but we're supposed to keep it in our hearts all year long anyway, so I figured I'd amuse you all with a rant about how terrible of a husband Santa probably is. Special thanks to Christina, my sorority sister, for starting this joke and inspiring this post. 1. He's fat,... Continue Reading →

I Got Married at a Party


Once, I was married for about three seconds. Well, okay, that's a lie, but it felt that way. I should start by saying that I don't really go to parties, because: 1. Drinking is illegal for me, as I'm only 19 and in the U.S. you have to be 21. Which I personally think is... Continue Reading →

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