If You’re Ever Feeling Ugly


Maybe you look in the mirror and notice that your chin hair (mine's named Vern, so don't be ashamed of yours) is growing back with a vengeance. Maybe you have a huge zit right in between your eyebrows, and it's totally blocking your third eye. It's possible that your butt grew two sizes overnight (sort of like the... Continue Reading →

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My Cat is Cuter Than Yours


This topic is not up for discussion. My cat. Is cuter. Than yours. Because I'm a nutcase cat lady and my cat is legitimately my boyfriend (He's already wearing a tuxedo! He's such a classy little gent!), I thought I'd show you a million pictures of him on my blog. I'm like that weird lady... Continue Reading →

Try Not to Pee. Just. Try.


So, I haven't written in a while (obviously). Finals are next week and life's been nuts, but you all know that! For the time being, I wanted to show you some videos I've seen lately. We all love animals being silly, so I've brought you three of those. And since dancing children is another crowd... Continue Reading →

Yeah, I’m With the Band


Mama, when I grow up, I'm gonna be in a band. Here are the names I'm considering: The Gnome Chompskys Our first album will be called "We Are Cunning Linguists" in order to pay homage to good ole Noam. And while we're at it, we'll throw some references about phonology and socialism into a love... Continue Reading →

A Cat Will Never Say:


1. "Let's just be friends." Obviously, cats can't speak, so they can't say anything. But if they could speak, they would never tell you they didn't love you. You scratch their ears, for heaven's sake! Of course they love you. 2. "Please stop calling me those annoying baby names." You can name your cat Muffin... Continue Reading →

Outside My Window, Something Seranades Me


  Dear weird owlet/cat/small child outside my window, First of all, what are you? You are making a strange squealing/squeaking/(dare I say) burping noise that I can't properly identify you by. This species ambiguity is freaking me out. Also, why must you make this noise outside my window? Like...RIGHT outside my window? Every single night this week,... Continue Reading →

The People Who Read This…


...apparently get here by clicking really weird stuff. Maybe their cat sits on their computer mouse or something. Or they have a really violent spasm and whack the keyboard super hard. I have gotten:  A LOT of hits from people clicking this link: obama-scandal-exposed.co.vids. I don't even know what that is. Sorry, all you people who are expecting... Continue Reading →

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