Mingbin, Gaga and Me


I do not want to get on this plane.  I want to stay in this state of airport gate-waiting for eternity. I'm not afraid to fly. I don't particularly like it, and usually I feel a little ill when I fly, but it's only an hour flight and I have good music and a book about... Continue Reading →


Dear Friends, Well, 2013 sure did fly by -- like me, on my private jet, flying off to Morocco. I have, once again, had an amazing year that was probably much more exciting than yours. As you probably read in the tabloids, my new lover Mickey and I were swept up in a whirlwind romance... Continue Reading →

Oh. It’s Christmas.


Well, it's not Christmas exactly. It's Christmas Eve. Regardless, it kinda snuck up on me!There's a list of questions going around YouTube that vloggers answer, and it's all about Christmas. Since I don't make videos, but I really wanted to answer the questions, I thought I'd write a quick post about it instead! Hooray!1. What's... Continue Reading →

Santa, You’re A Bad Husband


I know Christmas is over, but we're supposed to keep it in our hearts all year long anyway, so I figured I'd amuse you all with a rant about how terrible of a husband Santa probably is. Special thanks to Christina, my sorority sister, for starting this joke and inspiring this post. 1. He's fat,... Continue Reading →

Ho Ho Humbug


Merry Christmas, my little muffins! I hope you've all had a wonderful day with wonderful people, and I hope you've been feeling charitable and merciful, etc etc. That's what I want to talk about, actually -- all the things we do in the holiday season but tend to forget about for the rest of the... Continue Reading →

Happy Holidays! I’m Better Than You


Dear Friends, It's that season once more! The season of giving (to me) and snowmen and hot cocoa, which means its time to read my annual Holiday Letter of Self-Obsession. As you all know, my Pulitzer Prize winning novel "This is Why I'm Hot" came out last year to rave reviews, so I'm pretty loaded... Continue Reading →

Yes, Mary Did Know.


Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water? Mary, did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters? Well, yes...an angel woke me up in the middle of my beauty sleep to let me know. I don't think I would forget something so significant. Did... Continue Reading →

Dear World,


Dear World, If you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to fix a few things. First, make old people stop asking me what I'm planning on doing with my life. Even though I know (I think) that I'll write forever...unless I become a rocket scientist...it's difficult to explain that yes, I plan on writing a novel and... Continue Reading →

But…Baby!


It's cold outside? Is that really the best argument you can think of? I really can't stay But baby, it's cold outside. I've got to go away But baby, it's cold outside... That is the lamest argument I've ever heard. If it's cold outside, walk her home and cuddle her on the way. Or drive... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: