I Have Learned


What I've learned since the year 2000: 1. When my dad says he took the bar exam, that does not mean he was training to be a really awesome bar tender. 2. People will come and go, but sour candy...that stuff's forever. Literally. I think it's radioactive, and I mean that in the best possible... Continue Reading →

How to Get Dressed for a Date


Step 1: Make a rough sketch of your dream outfit Step 2: Throw it away, because we all know you'll never find/be able to afford it. Step 3: Write a list of colors that look good on you. Step 4: Attempt to find clothes of those colors in your wardrobe and realize you don't have any.  Step... Continue Reading →

How to be a Hipster


Step 1: Steal from the clearance rack.  Because the clothes at Forever 21 aren't cheap enough, especially when they're on clearance.  So keep smoking crack (or whatever it is that makes you act the way you do) and don't worry about buying your own stuff. Step 2: Wear winter clothes in 100 degree weather. Everyone... Continue Reading →

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