November 9, 2016

You may have noticed that uh…my country has made a terrible decision.

The fact that Donald Trump is the president elect made it hard to get out of bed this morning. Just existing today has been a struggle for so many of us; I’m afraid and angry and sad and disappointed and horrified. And the fact that I am not alone in my terror just seems to make it worse. I’m not only worried about myself and my rights, but the rights of millions of other minorities, people of color, LGBT+ people, immigrants, etc etc etc…

I want to shut down. I want to scream, I want to cry. I want to give in to the most primal parts of myself that are trying to tear me up from the inside out. And in a few ways I have. I left school early because I just couldn’t see straight. Breathing is hard. I’m trying to see the sunlight for the gift that it is, trying to smell the fall leaves and feel joy but…there’s a fog covering my brain and I don’t know when it’ll lift.

The only thing keeping me afloat is a sense of duty toward America. I want to take care of her now. I know a lot of people’s immediate reaction is to run away, to move elsewhere. And if that’s something you feel you have to do in order to be safe, then do it. Really. I promise I understand.

But I’ll be here, because I won’t abandon this country only to watch it be destroyed. When something you love is being abused and mistreated, you don’t leave. You support it. You love it. You take extra care of it. You fight for it. I never felt particularly patriotic before, because patriotism felt tainted by selfish, radical right wing politicians. But today, I feel the need to hold this country tighter to my heart than I ever have before. Because we need it. We need extra love, extra kindness, or we might just fall apart.

There are too many unknowns. I’m scared for my rights as a bisexual woman. I’m scared for the safety of those I love. But I promise you we will find a way to get through this. We’re gonna be okay. I don’t know when, and I’m not really sure how, but I’m gonna go with my gut on this one and say somehow it’ll all be okay.

Take care of yourself. Do things that make you feel alive and happy. Take care of your soul, lest it be crushed. Take a break from the news if you feel like you can. Do what is best for you. Eat well. Sleep if you can. Kiss your mother. Find a dog and pet it. Allow yourself a few moments to rebuild, then move forward. There’s a lot to do.

Its time to be there for this country and make sure everything we value is taken care of. I’m very angry, but anger has never solved anything. We have a chance to truly define who we are as a country, so act with grace and love. Let unity dominate your thoughts. Let your every action be driven by kindness, not hatred. Allow yourself to be afraid, and know that is valid. But try to be motivated positively by that fear and be productive, not destructive.

Be a beacon of light, because this is the darkest time we’ve faced in a long while. Remember that peace has gotten us through tough times before, and it won’t fail us now.

I love you all. Please take care of yourself and everyone you know. We are flawed, but that doesn’t mean we can’t rebuild.


Dear Mr. Trump,

Please stop lying to me.

I know you wouldn’t hesitate to turn your back on me if ever I really needed you. I know you hate the LGBTQIA community. I know you hate racial and religious minorities. I know you hate anyone different from you. 

Why are you lying? Who are you trying to fool? It is so obvious how you really feel. I’m sitting here, watching your speech after watching four full days of right-wing bullshit, and I’m insulted. Not because you hate me, though that doesn’t feel so great either. 

No, I’m insulted because I’m sick of being lied to. Sick of being told you’ll protect my wages. I’m sick of being told you’ll respect my Hindu religious beliefs and my Hindu brothers and sisters. I’m sick of being told you care about my rights as a bisexual woman, that you care about the trans, gay, lesbian, poly, asexual, intersex, queer community. That you care about the welfare and safety of racial minority groups in this country. 

You don’t care. You’re a selfish, lying bigot and I’m disappointed in how many people you’ve got supporting you. 

So stop lying. Because honestly, Mr. Trump, if you hate who I am, you could at least fucking tell me. 

Polite Raps 2: Even Politer Raps

Shoutout to my girl Caity, this one’s for you, girl. Ayeeeeee!

That’s the way it goes when you party just like I do. B****es on my d*** that used to brush me off in high school
But I understand, cuz I was a little weird back then and now you like me because you see how awesome I am. Also, I’m sorry I called you a bitch.
Take over the world when I’m on my Donald Trump s***
Look at all this money, ain’t that some s***?
Money is nice. I work for the money…but mostly I just want true love because that’s all that really matters.
We gonna take over the World while these haters gettin’ mad
That’s why all my b*****s bad, they see this crazy life I have and they in awe
We gon’ win, you can take the lose or draw
We’re awesome. So are you. You can hang out with us if you want, because this isn’t exclusive and I’m not a jerk. Be my friend!

Because really, Mac Miller is too freakin’ adorable to be rude! 

Ey b****, do you really really really wanna go hard?
Go in the crib, steal your stepfather’s credit card
And take the car do circles in the parking lot 
Scream at the top of our lungs like
La la la la la la la la la la la la
I just wanna have a nice time with mah gurls, and I’m really sorry I stole your credit card but YOU AIN’T MY DADDY! But really…sorry. And also, I’m in jail, so could you pick me up? Apparently we’re not supposed to do circles in parking lots…oh yeah, your car’s all banged up…sorryyyyyy!

So I ball so hard m*******s wanna find me
first n****s gotta find me
What’s 50 grand to a m******* like me
Can you please remind me?
Ball so hard, this s*** crazy
Y’all don’t know that s*** don’t phase me
Guys, seriously, I don’t know what just happened but I had a very explicit lapse of consciousness and I sincerely apologize for using the N word… Also, I’d like to donate 50 grand to poor people because it does matter!
And I’m really sensitive to stuff, so actually that s*** does phase me. I just gotta act tough.

Cappy OUT. (Please picture me throwing my mic to the ground.)