November 9, 2016


You may have noticed that uh…my country has made a terrible decision.

The fact that Donald Trump is the president elect made it hard to get out of bed this morning. Just existing today has been a struggle for so many of us; I’m afraid and angry and sad and disappointed and horrified. And the fact that I am not alone in my terror just seems to make it worse. I’m not only worried about myself and my rights, but the rights of millions of other minorities, people of color, LGBT+ people, immigrants, etc etc etc…

I want to shut down. I want to scream, I want to cry. I want to give in to the most primal parts of myself that are trying to tear me up from the inside out. And in a few ways I have. I left school early because I just couldn’t see straight. Breathing is hard. I’m trying to see the sunlight for the gift that it is, trying to smell the fall leaves and feel joy but…there’s a fog covering my brain and I don’t know when it’ll lift.

The only thing keeping me afloat is a sense of duty toward America. I want to take care of her now. I know a lot of people’s immediate reaction is to run away, to move elsewhere. And if that’s something you feel you have to do in order to be safe, then do it. Really. I promise I understand.

But I’ll be here, because I won’t abandon this country only to watch it be destroyed. When something you love is being abused and mistreated, you don’t leave. You support it. You love it. You take extra care of it. You fight for it. I never felt particularly patriotic before, because patriotism felt tainted by selfish, radical right wing politicians. But today, I feel the need to hold this country tighter to my heart than I ever have before. Because we need it. We need extra love, extra kindness, or we might just fall apart.

There are too many unknowns. I’m scared for my rights as a bisexual woman. I’m scared for the safety of those I love. But I promise you we will find a way to get through this. We’re gonna be okay. I don’t know when, and I’m not really sure how, but I’m gonna go with my gut on this one and say somehow it’ll all be okay.

Take care of yourself. Do things that make you feel alive and happy. Take care of your soul, lest it be crushed. Take a break from the news if you feel like you can. Do what is best for you. Eat well. Sleep if you can. Kiss your mother. Find a dog and pet it. Allow yourself a few moments to rebuild, then move forward. There’s a lot to do.

Its time to be there for this country and make sure everything we value is taken care of. I’m very angry, but anger has never solved anything. We have a chance to truly define who we are as a country, so act with grace and love. Let unity dominate your thoughts. Let your every action be driven by kindness, not hatred. Allow yourself to be afraid, and know that is valid. But try to be motivated positively by that fear and be productive, not destructive.

Be a beacon of light, because this is the darkest time we’ve faced in a long while. Remember that peace has gotten us through tough times before, and it won’t fail us now.

I love you all. Please take care of yourself and everyone you know. We are flawed, but that doesn’t mean we can’t rebuild.

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It’s a Beautiful Night


Says it all.

I know I’ve kept my political opinion to myself been extremely obnoxious about the election lately, but I can’t help myself…so many good things happened tonight!

Obama won, which is great news for women, gays, minorities, the poor, the sick…and whites, men, straight people, the rich and the healthy as well. It’s not a win for just one group, though I believe that Romney in the White House would’ve posed some serious threats to those first groups I listed. The man is brilliant, and his acceptance speech nearly moved me to tears. I remember crying with happiness 4 years ago with my family, proud that we’d elected him and so full of hope. While those feelings aren’t as raw as they were then, I still feel hopeful about Obama moving our country forward.

And I feel proud of myself, if I do say so, for helping get out the vote, informing friends about where they could turn their ballots in, being involved in the campaign for marriage equality, and voting with an open, educated mind. So cheers to me! everyone who went out there and did their civic duty!

Oh, and one more thing: Washington State looks like it’s gonna pass Ref. 74, which would legalize same-sex marriage in the state, to which I say, “FINALLY.” At this point, its approval is ahead by 4%, but I’m cautious in declaring victory just yet!
Amidst all the celebration, I can’t help thinking of the people around the state waiting anxiously to find out if other people are going to allow them to have the same rights as everyone else. It’s incredibly sad, and shouldn’t have to be this way. But, as it is, and this is reality where everything can’t go the way it ought to, I’m very proud of my state for creating this legislation and doing the right thing. Fingers crossed that by morning we’ll have something spectacular to celebrate!

Update! Washington has indeed passed Ref 74, and same-sex couples will be able to marry as of December 6. Cheers :)

The Internet is My Diary and Also I Voted


I realize you can barely see it, but I did vote for Obama…

1. I got stung by a wasp in my room yesterday afternoon. In October. In Washington. Aren’t wasps supposed to be like, dead or hibernating or something? Snuggling with their queen bee/waspy thing? Gettin’ roasty toasty in their hive?
It flew at my face while I sat on my bed eating a bagel, so I got up and moved away from it, thinking it would find somewhere else to chill. But no. It flew at my face, and I swatted at it…and when I say that I mean I smashed it into the inside of my forearm where it then stabbed me with its butt.
And it still hurts! Obviously not as bad as it did yesterday…I went to class and couldn’t really speak Spanish because wahhh my arm hurt (have I mentioned that I’m a wimp?) According to WebMD this residual pain is totally normal, and since the redness has mostly faded and hasn’t grown in size, it looks like I will not be dying of this particular wound.
But be warned: wasps are everywhere. Nowhere is safe.

2. I voted, y’all! Okay, I still have some tax measures to look up in the little booklet, but I voted! To approve same-sex marriage in my state! And for Obama/Biden! I feel like a real American now. I’ve been talking about this with my friends (well, more like AT them since I probably seem insane and I think they want to distance themselves from nutcases) and it’s probably the highlight of my week (granted…it is only Tuesday).
I’m just proud of myself for actually knowing about the issues this time around, when it really counts (cuz I can vote…) instead of just voting the way my parents will. I’m sure our ballots will have a lot of similarities, but I’ve looked up all of the Referendums and such and watched all the debates, and actually understand most of this political nonsense and know what I believe, and I’m voting that way. So yay me! I don’t say it enough, but yay me for knowing stuff!

3. I love you guys. Thanks so much for following my nonsensical rantings for so long. I really do appreciate that you read what I write. That you pick up what I put down. That you catch what I toss…

Namaste. Because I’ve been yoga-ing a lot and reading about Hinduism. So the light within me greets the light within you. Now we all bow our heads and are glad. Or something.

Bye!

An Open Letter to America


Hi y’all,

Hopefully you all tuned in to last night’s debate, regardless of your political preference or level of involvement. It’s available on YouTube here if you’d like to watch it and haven’t!

And now, down to business. As some of you know, I’m involved in blogging for PBS’ Race 2012: A Conversation About Race & Politics in America and am supposed to write about how race affects politics, how it affects the way we vote, and how it will affect this election.

I have no idea how to do that.

I was worried when Monica Medina sent me an email asking if I’d join this group of bloggers, because…I’m white. I’m 19. I’m from a relatively normal, middle class family. I am, in the scheme of things, one of the more average people you know. But I do have a love for my right to vote. I don’t always love what America stands for, and I don’t always love how we act on the global level, but I am grateful for my right to vote because I know that millions of people would risk their lives to get the chance to vote, and some have. So with that in mind, I couldn’t exactly say no…

And now here we are, one month away from Election Day, over 200 years after our country began, and race (and gender) is still an issue. We just recently elected a black man as president, but every day since then have questioned his birthplace. During the primaries in 2008, people were worried Hilary Clinton was too hormonal to lead the country. We’re constantly looking for something that says, “You’re not good enough, you’re not stable enough, you’re not ready, you’re not American, you’re not you’re not you’re not.”

Because we’re uncomfortable with change. We went for so long with old, white guys running our country that we get thrown off by the color of Barack Obama’s skin. We look for excuses, reasons why someone isn’t right for president. In Obama’s case, he was…too intelligent. Elite. Because apparently if you’re not wrastlin’ hogs or fixing toilets, you don’t understand the fundamentals of American society. But I would argue that subconsciously, we just don’t know what to do with ourselves when something new comes along. I mean, tell me JFK wasn’t elite.

I don’t mean to say we shouldn’t look at our candidates with a critical eye, because we must become as informed about the candidates as possible, lest we vote like idiots. But we probably should focus on their politics, not their race, religion, etc. Honestly, though Obama isn’t Muslim and I don’t entirely know why that’s still a debate, I wouldn’t have a problem if he was. There are plenty of very peaceful Muslims out there who would run our country just as well as anyone else. And there are plenty of Christian idiots who wouldn’t.

This post has gotten a little off topic. I guess it’s just because I can’t believe that this is still an issue. I can’t believe that we still see someone simply as black or white, and not just as human. I was raised by parents who taught me that everyone was equal. That your race meant very little in the scheme of things. That your race might define your culture, and that’s great, but it would never define your abilities or character. So I don’t look at that anymore. I look at candidates’ ideas, beliefs, and intent much, much more than I look at the color of their skin.

Of course, it was a huge achievement that Obama was the first African American to get elected President. I celebrated along with everyone else, because that kind of change is groundbreaking. But now, we should be able to move on. Elect Asians, women, gays. I don’t care. I just want someone to run my country and have some dignity while they do it.

So now that I’ve run around in circles, I guess all I have to say is this: get over it, America. Get over your prejudices, your preconceived notions, your stereotypes. Get over it and vote. And give each other a hug, while you’re at it.

Cappy

I’ll be blogging a few more times about how race in America affects voting, and how my race affects my choices as a voter. I think I’ve got something to say. So stay tuned, and VOTE!
The documentary will be airing October 16 on PBS. For more information, like Race 2012 on Facebook or follow @PBSRace2012 on Twitter. Yay for public television! Without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and we should continue to support it, even though Mitt Romney doesn’t. 

One Organic Hazelnut


While we’re on the topic of the election, I thought I should share with you a poem that I heard last year.
At my previous university, I went to open mic night every week to listen to music and poetry. Of course, I loved some of the musicians and hated others (everyone seemed to think that if you play a ukulele while you sing, you’re automatically amazing). But the one gem I found was too great not to share with the whole of the internet. A middle aged man came in, sat down, was quiet for probably an entire minute, then recited:

The 2012 Election:
I need a president who is anti-war and pro-life
So I’m voting for…none of the above.
Oh! One organic hazelnut.
Yum.

I’d like to point out that when he talked about the hazelnut, he pulled one out of his pocket and popped it in his mouth…

So that happened.

Cheers everyone, and make sure you vote for one of the above :)