A Few Fuck-Yous…


...Brought to you by international air and train travel. 1. Fuck you for wearing your skunk perfume on a plane (also on the train...I'm looking at you, passengers of renfe who showered in old man cologne). I'm glad you're making an effort to smell good but we're all hurtling through the sky in a coke... Continue Reading →

holaaaaaa


Here I am, sitting in the dining room of a small Spanish grandmother, looking at a silver plaque of "La Ultima Cena de Jesus" (The Last Supper) whilst a cool breeze blows across my shoulders. It's bright out -- surprisingly less humid than the past four days -- and I can hear the neighbors chatting... Continue Reading →

If You’re Ever Feeling Ugly


Maybe you look in the mirror and notice that your chin hair (mine's named Vern, so don't be ashamed of yours) is growing back with a vengeance. Maybe you have a huge zit right in between your eyebrows, and it's totally blocking your third eye. It's possible that your butt grew two sizes overnight (sort of like the... Continue Reading →

First Impressions


...aka a whole bunch of babbling about this beautiful, crazy city. I sent my family an email and figured instead of writing a new post, I'd just post parts of it here (lightly edited for clarification purposes) because I'm exhausted and it's only 8 pm. The sun sets here around 6:30, so...it's hard to stay... Continue Reading →

Between


I guess I can cross "drink a Heineken in Germany" off my bucket list. While I'm at it, I could create a bucket list... So I'm halfway to Bangalore! I'm sitting in the Frankfurt Airport eating pineapple slices and drinking beer. It seemed like a good purchase at the time. To be honest, it still... Continue Reading →

Oh. Bye!


I leave in 2 days. I don't entirely know how this all snuck up on me so fast, because it feels like yesterday I was pulling all my hair out studying for exams and suddenly...my bag is almost completely packed (full of malaria pills and anti-diarrhea medications). I've been trying to take mental pictures/videos for... Continue Reading →

India


So uh...in case you guys were wondering... I'M GOING TO INDIA. This summer. Study abroad. INDIAAAAAAAA. Whatevs. I found out today while I was studying for an exam (I may have been so heavily caffeinated that upon receiving the email I had an excitement- and caffeine-induced seizure in the library) and was immediately distracted, so... Continue Reading →

A Few Guarantees For My Wedding


I'm getting married, y'all! Psych. I should probably actually talk to boys first. Well, actually, I should talk to men...but I'm easing my way up...I'm still shy around 10 year olds. Anyway, if I were to get married, here are a few things I can guarantee about the wedding. 1. There will be no tulle involved. None.... Continue Reading →

My Cat is Cuter Than Yours


This topic is not up for discussion. My cat. Is cuter. Than yours. Because I'm a nutcase cat lady and my cat is legitimately my boyfriend (He's already wearing a tuxedo! He's such a classy little gent!), I thought I'd show you a million pictures of him on my blog. I'm like that weird lady... Continue Reading →

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