How To: Name Your Baby


So, I know my name is Cappy, and that might confuse some people. It might make other people angry that I'm writing a post about naming children when it seems that my parents named me under a haze of marijuana smoke and black lights. (Surprisingly enough, they didn't. To get the full story behind my... Continue Reading →

Video Love


It's been too long since I've done one of these. And I WILL expose you to things I love. 1. Synchronized Japanese Businessmen. Really, this is one of the most impressive things I've seen on YouTube. 2. How to Flirt. He's a woman after my own heart. We should meet up and do more How... Continue Reading →

How to Dress for Halloween


In light of the many parties you will undoubtedly attend (you cheeky minxes), I shall now bestow upon you my supreme knowledge of costumes. I'll start with what NOT to wear. Because I'm better at being negative. Ladeeez: Please refrain from any type of "slutty [insert noun here]." If you're going to go out dressed like a... Continue Reading →

How to Dance


In honor of the many upcoming homecoming dances at various colleges and high schools around the world/country/universe, I have compiled a list of fool-proof methods to help you get your dance on. I'm not exactly sure that I have the authority to write this since nowadays, with all the fist pumping and booty bumping and krumping (ohhh you kids... Continue Reading →

How to Be a Musician


Rockstar: 1. Live by one rule and one rule alone: Guitar should not sound melodic. There shouldn't be any real chords like in Beatles or Stones songs, just really scary and loud guitar riffs. And solos shouldn't have anything to do with the tune of the song but should instead show off your ability to... Continue Reading →

How to Make Friends


1. Compliment someone you think seems nice. Say, "Hey there. You look awesome today. I wish I looked the way you looked every day. I wish I could be you. I wish I could be your best friend. Can I be your best friend?" That method has always worked for me... 2. You don't want... Continue Reading →

How to Stay Thin


1. While cleaning, play music. Some people prefer funk, some like classical (though how you're supposed to dance enough to burn calories I don't know), and some like hip hop. I, however, am partial to blasting Nirvana/Smashing Pumpkins/The Strokes and jumping around singing until I can barely walk. That, my friends, is exercise.  2. Eat... Continue Reading →

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