They Don’t Have Cancer


Long story short: I've felt like shit over the past few days. My entire mouth hurt until today (who knew that was a thing) and everything I ate tasted really tart, including water. I feel like I've been hit by a truck, and I've thrown up a couple times. Walks around the block are a... Continue Reading →

Cirque du Sylvia


I've had my cat Sylvia for a little over a year, and she's just a dream. She's a short hair ginger tabby who gives zero fucks. My partner Deejay swings her around the living room and squishes her constantly, and she just sits there with a blank look on her face; I can't even tell... Continue Reading →

Raindrops, Roses, Whiskers, Kittens


I had surgery yesterday! I think, though I cannot confirm, that I was a very brave boy. I don't think I mentioned in my previous post that I have several tests and procedures to undergo before I can begin chemo. Yesterday's procedure included a lymph node removal and a port placement. I'll explain: I had... Continue Reading →

Diary Sessions: Part 1


When I was last visiting my parents in April, I brought all my old diaries back with me and realized...they're kinda amazing. I was in such torment over everything. Now, I don't want to invalidate the feelings I had as a kid, because I went to a small school full of awful little children being awful to each other... Continue Reading →

A Few Fuck-Yous…


...Brought to you by international air and train travel. 1. Fuck you for wearing your skunk perfume on a plane (also on the train...I'm looking at you, passengers of renfe who showered in old man cologne). I'm glad you're making an effort to smell good but we're all hurtling through the sky in a coke... Continue Reading →

Can We Discuss Disney Princesses Though


I was on the phone with my dad yesterday crying (surprise) over my lack of romantic luck recently. He gave me some really wonderful advice, the most hilarious of which came when he said, "The worst thing Disney ever did for society was write those stupid happy endings." Or something to that effect -- I tend... Continue Reading →

7 Signs You’re A Crazy (Awesome) Cat Lady


You frequently wake up to your cat head-butting your face for kisses and immediately oblige, no matter the hour. Your Instagram feed is entirely composed of photos of you and your cat. You spend an enormous amount of time showing people the above mentioned pictures and/or talking incessantly about your cat. You choose to stay home... Continue Reading →

Beauty School (Dropout)


I should not be awake. I also shouldn't be sick and full of snot and coughing like a choking dog, but such is life.  I started cosmetology school yesterday. Surprise! I didn't tell y'all...possibly because I haven't posted in like 4 months because I'm a failure working gal and got busy getting my life in order. ... Continue Reading →

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