A Few Fuck-Yous…


...Brought to you by international air and train travel. 1. Fuck you for wearing your skunk perfume on a plane (also on the train...I'm looking at you, passengers of renfe who showered in old man cologne). I'm glad you're making an effort to smell good but we're all hurtling through the sky in a coke... Continue Reading →

Jamaica, Rolf, Jamaica.


This place is just full of wonder. "Oh, look, a deer on campus!" the hipster thought. "My goodness I love wildlife. I'm from the city, so seeing a deer is not a regular occurence for me, but when I see one I really feel like a Native American. I feel like Pocahontas, or Leatherstocking maybe,... Continue Reading →

Mondegreen


There's this phenomenon called mondegreen (which I learned about in Linguistics, big surprise) which occurs when the brain misinterprets song lyrics. It was a sad, sad day in Linguistics when I realized realized that mondegreen is practically an integral part of my life. Welcome to the land of the ice and snow, where the middleducks... Continue Reading →

Mary Poppins Pockets


My boyfriend keeps everything in his pockets. I guess that's not unusual, since most guys don't carry purses etc. It's just always so hilarious to me when he pulls his phone and wallet, a whole cake and a small elephant out of his pockets at the end of the day. What? How? How was all... Continue Reading →

Someone Like You


To begin this story, and help illustrate the weird ramblings my mind takes, I should let you know that I've been listening to Adele's "21" nonstop for the past week. I finally bought the whole thing (I'd gotten a couple songs from it but finally caved because it's AWESOME). So I sing in the shower (a... Continue Reading →

How to Make Friends


Step One: See them around town. You like what you see. They seem nice, always chatting with passersby or wearing something fun. Give them a little nod as you pass to show that you want to be best friends. Follow them to their favorite lunch spot. Memorize their order so that one day you can... Continue Reading →

Why I’m Destined to be Tina Fey


People tell me I remind them a lot of Liz Lemon (for those of you who don't know, that's Tina Fey's character on 30 Rock). While I pretend to be offended that people compare me to a single, middle-aged woman who eats her feelings, I'm not...I'm not offended at all. In fact, it's pretty much... Continue Reading →

Party Etiquette


1. For those of you that drink, don't use those horrendous Bud Light bottles that have a "name tag" on them. You know people are just gonna scrape dirty pictures on them after they've downed a few. Whose idea were those anyway? "Yeah, let's make it easier for drunk people to give out their phone... Continue Reading →

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