Beauty School (Dropout)


I should not be awake. I also shouldn’t be sick and full of snot and coughing like a choking dog, but such is life. 

I started cosmetology school yesterday. Surprise! I didn’t tell y’all…possibly because I haven’t posted in like 4 months because I’m a failure working gal and got busy getting my life in order. 

Buuuut anyway, I had my first day of class yesterday, which consisted of:

1. Going through my kit (it was like a stressful Christmas morning involving way too many different curling irons and sharp objects that I will no doubt be impaling myself with at some point in the near future)

2. Getting my hair done by an older student (who, as I walked up to her, declared, “I’m gonna give you an Afro” and the rest was history) and subsequently missing my entire lunch hour because she got so into it. I shoved a scone in my face real quick, guys, don’t worry

3. Logging into a million different programs while trying to forget that there were mannequin heads in my kit that could spontaneously come to life and eat my face while looking at me with their dead eyes

4. Walking to my car in the pouring rain as my “Afro” deflated, only to discover that my battery was dead

5. Waiting for AAA while shoving trail mix in my face because I was starving and had a cold

So let’s hope day two is a little less insane! But I’m having fun so far :) This is a really exciting step in my life and it’ll be really interesting to see where it leads!

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Girl Crush


I have a girl crush on a few people. Okay, the list is a little longer than I care to admit, but whatever. It’s 2011, I’m allowed to platonically fall in love with a few celebrities. I have lots of middle-aged-man crushes too. I’ll blog about those sometime. I have so much love, I can’t only spend it on boys my age…

1. Jwoww – I’m sorry, but I’m kinda in love. Seriously? The chick’s hot (and 90% plastic, I know I sound like a 16 year old male). She just seems like she’d be fun. And I’m a little afraid of her, which is…cool…
“I came home because I didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend. And I felt like eatin’ ham and drinkin’ water. Ham.” – Jwoww.


2. Anne Hathaway – Girl’s got sass. Seriously. I think her role in the Devil Wears Prada changed my life (or at least my hairstyle)…people say I remind them of her, which kinda makes no sense because we look absolutely nothing alike. Really. But I’ll take it anyway cuz I love her.

3. Portia de Rossi – Meow. She’s beautiful. I guess that’s all I had to say, really, except that Ellen is a very lucky lady.

4. Speaking of Ellen – Gaaah! Love. She’s hilarious, talented, fun, hilarious, super cute, hilarious…did I mention hilarious? I want to be her. Or at least be next to her sometime.
“Hope y’all like my new profile pic. The photographer caught me just as I was walking in.” – Ellen DeGeneres on Facebook.

5. Emma Stone – It’s really just because of Easy A. I’m in love with her in that movie. She’s so…sassy. Apparently I like when people are sassy…
“Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.” –  Olive, “Easy A”

6. Kat Von D – She’s talented, she’s chill, she has the most amazing makeup line I’ve ever come across (and I’m including MAC in that, which is hard to belive), and she’s a cutie.

7. And last, but certainly not least, Meryl Streep –  The woman can do everything. Mama Mia, Julie and Julia, Doubt, Out of Africa…and she’s absolutely gorgeous. I want to be Meryl Streep. So badly.
“So I said to myself, go ahead, take a chance, hire the smart, fat girl.” – Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada.
Priceless.