It looked something like this, only a little less sparkly. It was better. Because I was looking at it with my eyeballs.

It looked something like this, only a little less sparkly. It was better. Because I was looking at it with my eyeballs. Also, there was a moon involved.

I’m not entirely sure who decided to call movie stars “movie stars.” They are people who act in movies. They are in no way comparable to actual stars, and I decided this tonight while I was on a quick walk around my block (the walk was quick because it was very cold and I had not anticipated quite how chilly it would be).

I looked up at the sky tonight, y’all. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal, only I realized while I was looking up that…I never do that. I don’t even remember when the last time I stopped and looked at the night sky, honestly. But it was so brilliant. I don’t think looking at stars will ever get old for anyone. Ever.

There was a moon, and some stars, and it’s not exciting to describe but…the moon was so glowy and the stars, though sparse, were absolutely luminous. That’s one of the perks of living in the country: there’s not so much light pollution to cover up the stars. I wonder what it would’ve looked like in the days of the cavemen when the stars shone through, unfiltered.

I wanted to take a picture, but there is no technology (at least that I can afford) that can capture what my eyeballs and my soul can. Because I think when you look at stars in person, there’s something that happens inside you…that little spot between your belly and your chest just glows, and it feels like it tries to reach up and touch the sky. I can’t take a picture of that. I can try to write about it, but even this barely does it justice since I keep saying things like “I looked at the sky and there were stars” which isn’t exactly poetic.

Anyway, it made me think that, even though I try to appreciate my surroundings whenever I think of it, I don’t think of it enough. It’s my March Resolution now: notice things more. It feels nice to see beauty.

Also, I’m listening to this right now and it’s making me feel so happy, and I think you should listen to it, too. A little folk-rock for a Friday evening. I had so many tests this week my brain is sliming out my ears, and I like to think this music is healing me.


All We Are Saying…

Sometimes, I wonder if there will ever be world peace. Sometimes I wonder if there will ever be total equality. Sometimes I wonder if everyone will just shut up and love one another instead of pointing fingers and hating and destroying. I’m one of the most optimistic people I know, but sometimes it all just seems so futile. But I’m nothing if not persistant, so listen up:

Your arguments against gay equality suck. THEY SUCK. “In the beginning it was a man and a woman not a man and a man.” That is the most bullshit argument I’ve ever heard. Uh, yeah, maybe it was that way in the beginning, but they also didn’t wear clothes in the beginning, lived in a garden, were completely naive to the problems of the world, and I bet they didn’t even truly love each other. One of their children murdered the other. “In the beginning,” you weren’t allowed to speak to a woman while she was on her period because she was “unclean.” Do you still practice that? Because I’m pretty sure nobody in their right mind does. Do you really think God would refuse to love someone simply because they are homosexual? Do you think Jesus would have turned away from a sick gay man simply because he was gay? Do you really think it’s okay for you to hate people you don’t even know simply because you don’t understand them? Because it’s not. It’s not okay, and your reasoning sucks. It just makes me sick, and I can’t believe your kind of thinking is still around.

On another note, all these uprisings in the middle east have given me hope. The reformers are trying to change their governments peacefully, and I commend them for that. It warms my heart to see people uniting for a cause so important as freedom, and I sincerely hope that they win it. With that in mind, I cannot believe that leaders in Libya are gunning protesters down. Do they honestly believe that they will gain any credibility by killing off the opposition? Why can’t we just work together? Someone needs to give them a John Lennon CD, so they can understand that all we are saying is give peace a chance. Because ultimately, peace makes people happier and happiness prolongs peace. Isn’t that what we all want? Happiness and peace? And the cynics who don’t believe world peace is possible just prolong the hatred in the world.

So really, all we are saying is give peace a chance. Just love people you don’t understand. Try to understand them and their point of view. Knowledge is the ultimate form of power. Just…just try to imagine what you do to people when you say and do hurtful, hateful things. Try to understand that shunning and hating gays and all different types of people you don’t believe are “acceptable” hurts them and ultimately hurts your soul.

What would Jesus do? He’d love everyone, that’s what he’d do.

On Religion

I was raised Episcopalian (which, for those of you who don’t know, is a branch of protestant Christianity). I’ve gone to church since before I can remember, but recently, I haven’t gone to church nearly as much as I used to – and while I’m inclined to say that it’s because I’ve been busy (which is part of the reason), it’s probably more because I’m a bit disillusioned.

To be fair, I’m not disillusioned by the Episcopal church itself, because I’ve always found Episcopalians to be incredibly welcoming toward all types of people (we elected the first woman priest and the first gay priest, both of which caused quite the uproar among Catholics) and the people at my church are like my family, I’ve known them so long. So I guess I don’t go to church because I’m confused, not because anything from my own church has turned me off.

I’m disillusioned by the hatred that Christianity in general has brought to this earth. While it has brought many good things, they seem overshadowed by the anger, hate, and destruction it has caused. I am disillusioned by some Christians preaching randomly selected Bible verses as they fit their hateful needs, and I don’t particularly want to be a part of that.

It’s hard for many people to distinguish between hateful “Christians” who threaten to burn Korans and loving Christians who might not even believe in God but who love their fellow man and do good to each other in the spirit of Jesus. It’s not necessarily hard for me to distinguish between these two groups, but it’s hard for me to say that I’m a part of something so conflicting and potentially destructive. I don’t need religion to be able to make the world seem better than it is or to make my life seem like it has purpose. My life has purpose, and I see the beauty in life and love a lot better than many so-called Christians.

Don’t get me wrong, some of the best people I know are extremely religious. The dean of my church is one of the most intelligent, wonderful, thoughtful men I have ever met. But, as he said in his sermon yesterday, most of the world “endorses the notion that peace comes from the barrel of a gun, justice at the point of a sword, and that this is God’s will.”
If this is God’s will, I don’t want to be a part of it. And if it’s not, which seems more accurate, then people need to stop thinking that it is. We cannot stop violence with violence, hate with hate, destruction with more destruction.

If I’m Christian at all, I’m Christian because I believe in love and goodwill to all mankind, not because I hope I’ll get to heaven or because I think I need to save all the heathens of the world from eternal damnation. I believe in Jesus’ teachings of peace and equality, not in misconstrued beliefs of anti-gay scripture or vengeful justice-seeking. I don’t know if there’s a huge omniscient spirit in the sky, watching over me and determining my fate, and if there is I don’t think it matters much to me. What matters to me is this:

I hope for a world that will one day be free of violence in the name of God, and I hope for a day in which everyone is treated equally with love and fairness. That’s the meaning of Christmas, but I think it’s the meaning of life, too.