Can We Discuss Disney Princesses Though


I was on the phone with my dad yesterday crying (surprise) over my lack of romantic luck recently. He gave me some really wonderful advice, the most hilarious of which came when he said, "The worst thing Disney ever did for society was write those stupid happy endings." Or something to that effect -- I tend... Continue Reading →

Are You Single or What?!


The world needs to be clearly labeled so I don't make a fool of myself. For example, I'd appreciate if, when I was lost as a driver, I could pop up a sign that says, "I'm not from around here, so I will be driving weirdly for the next few blocks. Please don't road rage... Continue Reading →

Santa, You’re A Bad Husband


I know Christmas is over, but we're supposed to keep it in our hearts all year long anyway, so I figured I'd amuse you all with a rant about how terrible of a husband Santa probably is. Special thanks to Christina, my sorority sister, for starting this joke and inspiring this post. 1. He's fat,... Continue Reading →

I Got Married at a Party


Once, I was married for about three seconds. Well, okay, that's a lie, but it felt that way. I should start by saying that I don't really go to parties, because: 1. Drinking is illegal for me, as I'm only 19 and in the U.S. you have to be 21. Which I personally think is... Continue Reading →

Happy Tanniversary


Oh, hey. Didn't see you there! Guess what I just did? Got tanned. Spray tanned, that is, for the first time and for a number of reasons, which I shall list! 1. I'm pale. Like, really pale. Not my-skin-barely-covers-my-veins pale, but pale nonetheless. 2. It's my one year anniversary with my boyfriend tomorrow, and I... Continue Reading →

There Must Be Rehab for This


Some of you (none of you) have noticed that I no longer have a Facebook. Why, you ask? Oh, no reason. Okay, there were lots of reasons: 1. Who cares about what happens on Facebook? I could care less that you went to a magic show and that it "blew your mind." Or that it... Continue Reading →

Mary Poppins Pockets


My boyfriend keeps everything in his pockets. I guess that's not unusual, since most guys don't carry purses etc. It's just always so hilarious to me when he pulls his phone and wallet, a whole cake and a small elephant out of his pockets at the end of the day. What? How? How was all... Continue Reading →

Double-Talk (Part 2)


What they say: I like your outfit, you look really comfy. What they mean: You look like a slob; my goodness, couldn't you have at least tried this morning?! What they say: You always have the cutest clothes! I swear, they'd look bad on anyone else but you! What they mean: Those clothes look bad... Continue Reading →

No Touching!


Some of the things people do when they’re in relationships amaze me. Like, how exactly does the kissing-photograph go down? “Hey, I really like you, so we should take a photo together while we kiss.” No. I’m sorry, but that’s really annoying. And if you do that, then…well, stop. It might be less obnoxious if... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: