What’s the Point of Simon Cowell

So, I was about to write a really really super sassy post about how Simon Cowell is a jerk and what’s the point of walking around with a huge scowl on your face because does nothing please you?!

But then I googled him (because I couldn’t remember how to spell his last name, to be honest) and came upon his twitter and…is Simon Cowell nice now? He says lovely things and posts pictures of his doofy dogs (they’re named Squiddly and Diddly…you have to be nice to name dogs that way) and now I’m just confused about the world.

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But then! (You’re on this journey with me, people) Then I read an interview he did with Jay Leno and he said something about not initially wanting to sign a band because the guys were all really ugly and I threw up on my computer.

It got me thinking…does he live his entire life being an ass for the cameras? Has he decided that the only way he’s memorable is by treating other people really terribly? That just sounds so tiring. And lonely.

I think the energy we put into the universe is the energy we get back, and if you decide (even falsely) to put out a whole load of negative energy, that’ll catch up to you somehow or another. Maybe Squiddly and Diddly pee in his bed every night, or bite his feet a lot or something.

Anyway, I love you all, my cheeky little muffins! Finals week is killing me, but I somehow managed to put this post together, even though it’s tragically insignificant and incoherent. Cheers!