Oh. It’s Christmas.

ImageWell, it’s not Christmas exactly. It’s Christmas Eve. Regardless, it kinda snuck up on me!

There’s a list of questions going around YouTube that vloggers answer, and it’s all about Christmas. Since I don’t make videos, but I really wanted to answer the questions, I thought I’d write a quick post about it instead! Hooray!

1. What’s the best Christmas gift you’ve gotten? Hmm. That’s a tricky one. My grandmother (Brownie) gave me a huge recipe-keeper book one year. You write down recipes in it and it has little organizing tabs in it. It also has clear sheets that you can paste old recipe sheets onto to preserve them. Basically, it’s the most basic, seemingly boring gift, but it clearly had a lot of thought behind it, and it’s been really useful to me over the years. I love to cook, and I know I’ll keep it til I’m dead. Maybe they’ll bury me with it.

2. What’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve ever gotten? I don’t think bad Christmas gifts even exist. If someone bothered to give you something, and took time out of their lives to pick it out or make it for you, then…what are you complaining about, exactly?

3. Sing a line from your favorite Christmas song. Every day! Would be like a holiday! When my baby…when my baby comes hooooome!

4. What’s your favorite Christmas film? Mixed Nuts. It’s got Steve Martin, Juliette Lewis, Madeline Kahn, Adam Sandler, and Rob Reiner in it. There’s a lot of shouting, a crazy man in a Santa costume, and Liev Schreiber is a cross-dresser. So really, what’s not to love? (The answer is nothing.)

5. If you could re-name one of Santa’s reindeer, what would you name it? I think Vixen is a pretty silly name for a reindeer. It sounds like maybe, when it’s not Christmas Eve, she has a job as a stripper at some dive bar in Iceland or something. So I’d rename Vixen to…Maude. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Maude. 

6. What’s your favorite thing about Christmas? Everything. I like that everyone’s in a good mood (do that more, people). I like that we get to cook a lot. My family usually has a nice little Christmas party and it’s nice to be reminded that we have a lot of wonderful friends. And I like snow.
I think maybe my favorite thing about Christmas is the snowy nonsense that happens. We go sledding, and my dad typically biffs me in the face with a few snowballs, and I get snow down my coat and freak out. And people can never seem to figure out how to drive in the inch of snow we get before Christmas, so they get all panicky and it’s pretty hilarious. Aaaaand I like how shiny everything gets. Shiny and bright.

Anyway, that’s the end of that! Merry Christmas to all of you, even if you’re not Christian (I’m not…but I still celebrate Christmas because I believe in love and happiness). I hope you have a fabulous time with your families and friends, and hopefully you’re in a nice mood. Yay!


Technology Does Weird Things to Me

When I say that, I don’t mean I’ve been operated on by mutant robots (my appointment isn’t until Friday, and they say I should make a full recovery, but I’ll definitely have a bionic arm. Hopefully it doesn’t turn against me). I do mean that the interwebs and iPhones and whatnot make me do and say and care about weird things that I never would’ve done/said/cared about before.

Example: The other day, I looked up a YouTube video I’d previously commented on (it was a Mock the Week episode and Dara had made a weird face. I commented on said face and got the most upvotes…top comment! Jeah!) and got waayyyyy too excited about getting top comment. Then, someone had commented sassily in reply to my comment, and I wanted to be super rude to them and tell them to shut up.
And then I realized I was being insane. Getting top comment on a YouTube video means literally nothing in the scheme of my life. Being sassed by some random girl via the internet also means nothing to me. Being a jerk back makes me an asshole (so good thing I wasn’t!).

Basically, the internet barely matters. It matters to me in terms of this blog, because it’s an outlet for me to vent/be awesome/get my name and writing out there. But 99% of the internet is completely useless to me. Same goes for technology in general, unless I need heart surgery or a bionic arm or I really need to stalk someone.

iphoneWhich is why I ditched my iPhone on Sunday. Boom, universe exploded.

Guess what my phone does now? Calls and texts. Which is more than a phone was invented for in the first place anyway. Texting is technically superfluous, but it is the most superfluous thing I need in my life right now. Do I need Netflix on my phone? No. That was cool, but no. Do I need my bank statement on my phone? No. Also super cool and helpful, but a pen and paper will do the trick when I need to keep track of my finances. Do I need to play games on my phone? Definitely not…that’s not even really that cool anyway. There are pros and cons of smartphones, so I will now list them for you because I am good at listing. Also, it shows the world that I can indeed count.

6. Pro: You can access just about everything from your phone in an instant. This is super awesome when you need directions to Mindy’s house and Mindy lives in the middle of freaking nowhere and you’re lost because you took a left at Bessie the Cow instead of taking a right. Also awesome when you want to show someone a real-time video of you at the Great Wall of China, or when you need to check to see if the guy you just met is a serial killer (is there an app for that?).

4. Con: You can access just about everything from your phone in an instant. Why would I need sports scores delivered to my phone immediately, dinging 30 times to tell me that my favorite team lost? Unless I have a serious sports-gambling addiction, which I should get help for, I don’t need to know these things. Also, the fact that there’s an app to add a laugh track to my life is seriously disturbing.

5. Pro: You can check your email! Yay, now you can get work done while you’re on the toilet!

11. Con: see above…because really, nobody needs to do that.

3. Pro: People can always contact you! This is great for emergencies.

55. Con: People can always contact you. This is terrible for everything except emergencies.

I think you kinda get the pattern, here, right? Basically, smartphones are awesome, and they can make life way easier, but they also make everything a little more complicated. Also, I would like to look up from my phone and actually see the world once in a while. Some people are great at putting away their phone and enjoying life, but I wasn’t, so I MADE myself exercise self control.

Anyway, this may only last for the summer, but it’s a fun experiment, and I feel more awesome already! Thoughts?

Try Not to Pee. Just. Try.

So, I haven’t written in a while (obviously). Finals are next week and life’s been nuts, but you all know that! For the time being, I wanted to show you some videos I’ve seen lately. We all love animals being silly, so I’ve brought you three of those. And since dancing children is another crowd pleaser, have one of those too :)

Love you all! Enjoy!

1. I’ve watched this way more times than I should admit:

2. This has become my new favorite way of saying no:

3. Yay quacking dog!

He’s better than Elvis (Pay particular attention to 1:25 when he finishes):

Leave My Man Alone

Hi. College is hard. I wish I was majoring in blogging so that posting here was required. But alas…I am not. So before I begin studying for the tests I have this week, I thought I’d give you this lovely list of videos:

You don’t understand. I am actually obsessed with this video. I watch it all the time and quote from it (Thoreau, actually…the Teapot Dome Scandal of 1922…) daily. I know I’ve posted it a million times on my video lists but seriously…it’s too good to pass up.

The Real Women of SNL

Sometimes days are hard. Sometimes people say you suck. But you just gotta think: What would Maya Rudolph do? What would Kristin Wiig do? WHAT WOULD CHERI OTERI DO?!
Answer: pull someone’s weave and call them insane.

So many things to say…but mostly just YES.

I just don’t think these videos are scaring you enough, so…have this one.

From the girl who brought you “Miss Moogoo” comes…Leave My Man Alone!!! Stickam Girl strikes again.
Note the flag in the background.

Nope. They’re not. They’re dead.


Video Love

It’s been too long since I’ve done one of these. And I WILL expose you to things I love.

1. Synchronized Japanese Businessmen. Really, this is one of the most impressive things I’ve seen on YouTube.

2. How to Flirt. He’s a woman after my own heart. We should meet up and do more How To stuff :P

3.  Mock the Week. I love this show. Wish I lived where I could actually see it air on TV! Instead, I keep myself happy by watching videos from it on YouTube. This is a pretty good one. Please note the blonde cutie on the left. That’d be my husband, Russell Howard.

4. Adam Hills – Characterful pt 6. I love this man. So. Much.

5. How To Avoid Talking To People You Don’t Want to Talk To. I really need to learn from this video.

“Film” Friday

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but consider it your Christmas present.

Yeah, it's like I'm handing you a bit of happiness. TAKE IT.

Videos I love so much I want to make them my boyfriend:

1. But I Can Dance! – Natalie Tran
I want to be Natalie Tran. I love Natalie Tran. She is the most hilarious YouTuber I have come across so far. Someday, I hope to be as funny and successful as her. I love this video because it’s so true. Check out my other favorite videos of her: Bending at the Knees for Love and Flasher! Whoops! Yeah, it’s porno music/comment time.

2. Mashterpiece Theatre – Jersey Shore
These people are fun, and the video involves the Jersey Shore and British accents…combined. YES!

3. All I Want for Christmas is You
Except that it isn’t Mariah (which is good), but is instead really fun guys dancing around in sweaters. These guys make me so happy – I love their videos. Merry Christmas :)

4. Like it’s Quidditch
I always liked the sound of Like a G6, but I thought the words were really stupid. I love Harry Potter, so this tickles my fancy. You can buy it on iTunes, too. Hufflepuff, know what’s up.

5. Poker Face – Christopher Walken
I love him. He’d never heard the song, so he “sang” it…just watch the video. OH!

6. Clap – Brenden Fraser
My friends and I had a huge Golden Globes party last year. We dressed up and got classy…and then clapped like this all night after it happened because it was so hilarious. It’s 8 seconds, just watch it.

7.  Chess Tournament Cheer
This is probably the funniest thing Will Ferrell has ever done. I quote it all the time, but nobody ever gets it. So check me out!

8. And finally, The IT Crowd Bloopers
This show is so hilarious. And it’s streamable on NetFlix!!!! WATCH IT! But watch the bloopers first. Maybe.

“Enter Title Here”

So sometimes we all need to laugh. In fact, I kind of HAVE to so I can make it through the day. So here’s some joy for your Sunday afternoon.

1. I don’t know what this is. But it’s French and it’s super weird. I wish I spoke French just so I knew what was happening in this video. It’s like Sit and Be Fit on acid.

2. Face Exercises (Lion) – We all want to look younger, but are we sure we want to look this stupid doing it? (I actually kinda like her hair…)

3.  The Alex and Charlie Format! Today’s show is in the key of G. And a bloody good thing it is, because I like things that make me laugh, and this MAKES ME LAUGH. Whey hey!

4. Where the Dirty Hipsters Are – Nothing gives me more pleasure than making fun of hipsters. Except blogging, which is convenient because HEY I can make fun of hipsters on my blog!

5. New Testament Cigarettes – Because Woody Allen is a genius of epic proportions.

6. ‘Llectuals – I know I’ve already put this up, but I REALLY WANT THERE TO BE A SHOW LIKE THIS. Someone make it and dedicate it to me.

Happiness: Accessable 24 Hours a Day

See Happiness Inducer #2

In order to keep myself from shrieking loudly and then collapsing and writhing on the floor in agony (this agony is derived from being totally insane and/or hormonal/tired/bored/alive), I have to do totally awesome things. So. Totally. Awesome.

Okay, so I don’t actually DO these awesome things. “Doing these awesome things” usually involves remaining motionless and looking at a computer screen…

1. ‘Lectuals
From the people who brought you Hipster Olympics comes ‘Llectuals, the sexy new PBS show about intellectual high school students.
Have I mentioned I actually wouldn’t mind seeing a show like this?

2. The X-Files
Every season is streamable on Netflix, so I basically have 24 hour access to heaven on earth…aka Fox Mulder.

3. Sing Talk
Probably better than Ke$ha’s song TiK ToK, mostly because it doesn’t involve capitalizing the third letter of words.

4. Budweiser Greetings Commercial
I hate Budweiser commercials, usually. But this one makes me want to be a guy and do these things. Watch.

5. Old Spice Commercial Parody
Old Christ: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like
I love the real Old Spice man, but this comes as a pretty close second.

6. Watching J-Woww “feel like eating ham and drinking water”
I don’t know what it is, but I love J-Woww. She is my homegirl. Also, this is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen her do. Ham.

7. Sassy Gay Friend
This one (Hamlet) is my favorite, but they’re all amazing. Okay? Okay.

Cheers, enjoy, live long and prosper, and AHOY!

Things That Make Me Go “HA!”

When I need a laugh, I get on YouTube and BAM: Laughter.
There are about 90 million videos on this list, but there is no such thing as too much laughter.

The Dad Life
So awesome. These dads are pretty legit.

Hipster Olympics
I want to be just like them, only…not. Because hipsters don’t admit to aspiring to anything.

IT Crowd Outtakes
7:30 is my favorite part. I love The IT Crowd…it’s got to be the most hilarious show ever, next to Fawlty Towers and…nothing.

My Push Up Bra Will Help Me Get My Man
Glozell can ALWAYS get a laugh out of me. It’s not that hard to make me laugh, honestly, but she really really really really makes me laugh. A lot. Get it? Good.

How To: Be a Bad Bitch
This just makes me excited. Nuff said. Plus, it’s a How To and we all know how much I love How To’s.


BBC Questionnaire (Alex Day)
Sort it out, love.
This guy makes me really happy with his readings of Twilight. This is a super old video of his, but it never fails to make me giggle.

2009 Got You Down?
While it’s neither 2009 nor Christmas time, this video always makes me happy. Especially when I forget what it is and watch it again. Then I get surprised and happy. Nothing is better than being surprised AND happy.